<rss version="2.0">
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		<title>AOL RED Blogs: Odd Man Out</title>
		<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/</link>
		<description>AOL RED Blogs</description>
		<language>en</language>
		<webMaster>dev@corp.vpi.net</webMaster>
		<copyright>(c) 2008</copyright>
		<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:13:04 PST</pubDate>
		<lastBuildDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:13:04 PST</lastBuildDate>
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			<title><![CDATA[He's Back!]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/hes_back.5/</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jan 2008 12:13:04 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Well, for at least one post. If any of you liked reading my stuff here, check&nbsp;this out ... it&#39;s a fairy tale for people who liked Harry Potter.&nbsp;Take a look, and leave a review if you like it. &nbsp;Otherwise, comment here about how much you hate it and can&#39;t believe THIS is the post I come back on.&nbsp;]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Awww!]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/awww.10/</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 4 Oct 2007 12:36:03 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Well, as you can probably tell by how often I&#39;ve updated this, I&#39;m not going to be blogging for AOL RED anymore. &nbsp;I hope that all of you who liked the blog enjoyed it while it lasted, and for those of you who didn&#39;t, you&#39;re probably not reading this ... and if you are, I&#39;m sure I&#39;ll hear about it.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Thanks for reading, and I hope you got something out of this ... nothing serious, cause I&#39;m the LAST person to be talking about guy and girl relations (though I did somehow end up married ... to a woman, too), but hopefully there was a little bit of fun.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;As for the RED team, I love &#39;em all, even if they&#39;re crazy as hell. Believe me on that last part.&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp;Thanks everyone!]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[The Pretty People]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/the_pretty_people/</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 30 Aug 2007 14:30:12 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Does it seem like the pretty people usually get whatever they want, and have an easier time than everyone else? It&#39;s like they&#39;re automatically popular, everyone likes them and they never have to worry about anything. Or is it not that easy?&nbsp;I can say all that &#39;cause obviously I&#39;m not one of them. But I do know a few, and I know that things are just as crappy for them as they are for those of us who make up the rest of the world ... the not-ugly-but-not-crazy-hot-either people. Don&#39;t believe that being really attractive might be hard? Let&#39;s look at some reasons it could be (and believe me, I never knew this stuff either):&nbsp;-- No one ever takes you seriously for what you say, because they think you must be stupid if you&#39;re attractive.&nbsp;-- People can be bitter toward you for no particular reason other than your looks.&nbsp;-- They think you&#39;re shallow because you look good, even if you don&#39;t really do much to look that way.&nbsp;-- They look for reasons to put you down to make themselves feel better.&nbsp;-- Guys (or girls) hit on you all the time, but we&#39;re not exactly talking about the cream of the crop here. &nbsp;That&#39;s not to say there aren&#39;t attractive people who&#39;ve had life handed to them, who treat other people like garbage because they can and deserve any bad stereotype that everyone thinks about them. But that&#39;s true of any group of people. &nbsp;Here&#39;s the one thing that smart people realize, no matter how you look: Looks go away. No matter how good or bad you look, things basically all end up in the same place eventually, and not really that far along. It&#39;s all about what you look like on the inside that ends up mattering. &nbsp;And no matter how you were treated early on, either as a pretty person or one of us not-so-much, eventually people see you for what you are. And that&#39;s kinda beautiful. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Polish It Up]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/polish_it_up/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 21 Aug 2007 10:09:02 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Since when has it been all girly to care about personal hygiene? For some reason, a guy&#39;s expected to look all clean, yeah, but not TOO clean. If you&#39;re too conscious of your appearance, you&#39;re suddenly either metro or just gay. &nbsp;Well, if that&#39;s what you gotta label someone who gets a pedicure, then go ahead. Cause that&#39;s me. I&#39;ve officially had a pedicure.&nbsp;And wow, did it ever suck. I can totally see why guys don&#39;t get these ever.&nbsp;The funny thing is, we could probably benefit more from them. We tend to be dirtier all around, or maybe we just sweat more or something. Either way, our feet aren&#39;t pretty. Or maybe it&#39;s because girls get pedicures that their feet are better off? It&#39;s like a which came first question, being clean or getting it cleaned. I just blew my mind.&nbsp;Anyway, first of all, these salons aren&#39;t exactly guy-friendly. If you&#39;re gonna paint something pink and purple, you should know what you&#39;re getting yourself into. And let&#39;s be honest, the magazine selection was a little light on anything with testosterone. But that&#39;s just the waiting area. Let&#39;s get to the main event.&nbsp;First, the chairs they put you in? Wow, I want one of those to sit in while watching TV, cause they&#39;re freaking comfortable. The chairs had these little feet bath tubs that are about 300 degrees or something, filled with blue water. Usually blue water goes in toilets, from what I&#39;ve seen. Not that I&#39;m making that connection here. Not at all.&nbsp;Anyway, as my feet were being cooked, my pedicurist sat down and lifted one foot out at a time to wipe lotions and stuff on them. She also clipped the nails and used the most irritating device I&#39;ve ever felt, I think they&#39;re called emery boards. I just called them hell. Have you felt this thing? It&#39;s like someone&#39;s taking a chisel to your toe, then scraping. It&#39;s not so painful or anything, but that feeling and sound makes me cringe even now.&nbsp;After she tortured both feet, she dropped them back into the scalding water before deciding it made sense to tickle the bejeezus out of me next by brushing this block of something sandpapery on the bottom of my foot. I can&#39;t believe I paid money for this, let alone sat through it.&nbsp;There might have been an option to paint my nails at this point, but I had enough estrogen for one day, so that&#39;s the point I gave up and left. I might have left my dignity there, but wow, are my feet ever soft now!]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Getting It On in Public]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/getting_it_on_in_public/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:41:04 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Why are girls usually more interested in public displays of affection than guys? Whether it&#39;s like the full-on making out or just holding hands, guys tend to be uncomfortable with it whereas girls seem to enjoy it more. But why?&nbsp;Let&#39;s look at the top five reasons why you might want to PDA:&nbsp;1. Show off your feelings to the world.2. You just can&#39;t help yourself -- you have to touch the other person right then, right there.3. Possessiveness, as in this person is MINE.4. Showing off the guy or girl you&#39;re with. They picked YOU!5. Making someone jealous.&nbsp;Probably didn&#39;t need to make those so negative, but that&#39;s just how guys think. I mean, ARE there good reasons other than the first two? Acting in a movie? Pulling some elaborate prank? CPR?&nbsp;If we&#39;re assuming that&#39;s it #1 or 2 (just to be positive about the whole thing), then let&#39;s look at why guys might not be comfortable with those.&nbsp;Say you want to show off your feelings to the world, &#39;cause you&#39;re just that much in love. Wow, aren&#39;t you sweet, like jellybeans melted down and snorted like Pixie Stix. It&#39;s all well and good to be in love, but most guys aren&#39;t that into showing off ANY feelings beyond the big three (annoyance, hunger and laughing at fart jokes), let alone something as personal as love. So why would they not only want to show it, but revel in it with complete strangers? &nbsp;The second one at least appeals to guys through hormones ... we can understand just not being able to stop touching a girl (I&#39;m just talking about hands here, people, calm down). But still, even we know there&#39;s a time and place. Maybe it&#39;s &#39;cause we&#39;ve walked by couples making out, which just makes everyone want to vomit, or &#39;cause we&#39;ve been that couple and SEEN people vomit. Either way, if WE can hold ourselves back while in public, then girls should be able to easily.&nbsp;The other three are just creepy, and if that&#39;s your reasoning, girls, you don&#39;t have a boyfriend -- you have a new accessory to show off. &nbsp;Plus, and here&#39;s a big one ... let&#39;s be honest. No one&#39;s as pretty or good-looking as they think they are. For the good of everyone, don&#39;t make us watch you. Ooof.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Kiss and Tell]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/kiss_and_tell.4/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 7 Aug 2007 14:22:12 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I get the feeling girls think that guys share all kinds of details about their hookups, you know, in locker rooms, football practices, something else manly ... but do guys really tell their friends that much?&nbsp;Let&#39;s take a ride to the land of make-believe and find out!&nbsp;Guy 1: Did you two go out last night?&nbsp;Guy 2: Yeah.&nbsp;Guy 1: How was it?&nbsp;Guy 2: Pretty good. &nbsp;Guy 1: Nice.&nbsp;Guy 2: Yup.&nbsp;Pretty informative, eh? Now let&#39;s take a look at a stereotypical girls&#39; conversation about the same date:&nbsp;Girl 1: Did you two go out last night?&nbsp;Girl 2: Yeah, we went to a movie, [insert movie title], and he totally tried to kiss me as soon the movie started. Which was great, but wow, breath-mint or something, right? It&#39;s not like brushing&#39;s against the law or anything, is it? So after the movie, he took me to [insert restaurant name], which kinda sucked, but mostly cause he got sick or something. And he STILL wanted to make out after dinner. He was like doubled over in pain!&nbsp;Girl 1: Wow, what a loser.&nbsp;Girl 2: Nah, he was OK, apart from the breath. And he did this thing with his hands while we were kissing that annoyed the crap out of me. Seriously, if they don&#39;t know what to do, they should just stay still. Guys are idiots.&nbsp;Girl 1: Hahahaha!&nbsp;Girl 2: So how&#39;d YOUR thing go?&nbsp;Let&#39;s be honest ... we all know how little guys share with girls. You really think they&#39;re sharing much more with their guy friends? I&#39;d say more, but I feel like I&#39;ve shared too much already ... ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Breaking Up Is Hard to Do]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/breaking_up_is_hard_to_do/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 31 Jul 2007 21:36:45 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Ever been in a relationship where a guy who totally loves you, doesn&#39;t want to be with anyone but you ... suddenly breaks things off out of nowhere and leaves you with no idea why it happened or what he&#39;s thinking?&nbsp;You probably have, and yes, that sucks hard.&nbsp;But let&#39;s look at why it happened. &nbsp;Let&#39;s pretend a girl&#39;s really into a guy. They go out for a while, they get closer, disgust their friends with PDAs, really fall in love. With all this going on, the girl is probably thinking how well everything is going. &nbsp;Let&#39;s look at this from a guy&#39;s standpoint. A girl&#39;s really into you, as a guy. Sweet, it&#39;s nice to be liked, everyone likes to feel attractive. So you go out with her for awhile, and you like hanging out and everything, but she wants to be with you all the time. Oh sure, at the beginning that&#39;s cool with you, you like being with her, after all. But what about being alone, or going out with your friends? &nbsp;OK, so you you tell her that.&nbsp;She says she&#39;s OK with it, but look at her face: It makes her sad. Ugh, you don&#39;t want to make her sad, cause that makes YOU feel sad ...&nbsp;and guilty. Now you&#39;re feeling guilty for wanting to do your own thing. Doesn&#39;t that kind of annoy you? Why should you feel guilty about wanting to do what you want? It&#39;s not selfish, you&#39;re doing things with her all the time, but you also want to do things on your own. And if you say that, you get the sad look, or worse, start arguing about it, and then you have to defend something you probably can&#39;t even explain without offending her, cause how do you tell someone who wants to be with you that you don&#39;t always want to be with them?&nbsp;This whole thing is just feeling way too hard, isn&#39;t it? Aren&#39;t relationships supposed to be fun and nice and all about making out and crap? All you seem to be doing is making her sad anyway, she&#39;d probably be better off without you. And wouldn&#39;t you be happier too, being able to do whatever you want without having to explain it anymore? &nbsp;You should really break up with her. And look at how sad you&#39;re making her, she&#39;ll probably be happy to end things! &nbsp;Ouch.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#39;m not saying this is how all guys see things, or even most. A lot of guys are more than happy to spend all their time with a girl, and there are definitely couples where the genders switch in my example. But as stereotypical as this is, it&#39;s pretty common. And it&#39;s not that guys don&#39;t have feelings for the girl, but it&#39;s more that they&#39;re feeling like they can&#39;t get what they want, and don&#39;t feel like they can talk about it because it&#39;ll upset the girl. &nbsp;It&#39;s all about communication, people. And break-ups suck, but they suck worse when things could have worked if both of you had just talked about it.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Real Men]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/real_men/</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jul 2007 14:26:39 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[So last week I asked for comments about a type of guy I called &quot;girly-guys,&quot; the kind of guy who actually pays attention, probably has more girl friends than guy friends and who doesn&#39;t tackle other guys then pat them on the butt (in other words, play a lot of football.) The cool part was how many guys responded, saying that they kinda/sorta/maybe considered themselves that kind of guy. &nbsp;Well, me too. And I&#39;ve got no problem with it.&nbsp;Again, this isn&#39;t about being gay, cause unless a male homosexual is someone who&#39;s attracted to women, that&#39;s not me. But I do have a lot more girl friends than guy friends, and I do like hanging out with them more than guys. I also like musicals, Disney movies and playing Dance Dance Revolution.&nbsp;Yeah, again, I&#39;m not gay.&nbsp;The thing is, a lot of guys now couldn&#39;t care less about stereotypes of what &quot;men&quot; are supposed to be. Who cares if a bunch of guys want to go grunt around at a football game, or drive around looking for women? That&#39;s now who some of us are, and we&#39;re not going to pretend just to be thought of as a man&#39;s man or something (man&#39;s man DOES sound gay, ps.)&nbsp;There are a lot of &quot;girly-guys&quot; out there, too. Let&#39;s look at some famous ones:&nbsp;Justin Timberlake -- anyone who can dance like that isn&#39;t going to be grabbing his crotch when a hot girl walks by. Unless he&#39;s dancing. &nbsp;Zac Efron -- he wants to bring back musical theater. And he&#39;s dating Vanessa Hudgens. You gotta admire the guy. (And who doesn&#39;t LOVE musicals?! Anyone else know all the words to the South Park movie?)&nbsp;Adam Brody -- here&#39;s where a lot of &quot;girly-guys&quot; end up, being thought of as &quot;dorks.&quot; And a lot of us are ... but all dork means is that you&#39;re really into something. Being really into comic books or something is no more dorky than being really into baseball ... one&#39;s just thought of as more &quot;manly.&quot; Watching a bunch of guys in tight pants waving big wooden sticks doesn&#39;t really equal manly to me, though ... but maybe that&#39;s just me.&nbsp;I could name a thousand other guys, but you get the point. And guys out there who think you might fall into this category? Don&#39;t worry if you get teased or whatever, it doesn&#39;t last forever. Besides, you&#39;re probably friends with a lot more girls -- and you know what? Which guy would most girls want to date ... their best friend, or the jackass who can&#39;t think about anything but his next game? ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[For Your Own Good]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/for_your_own_good/</link>
			<pubDate>Sat, 14 Jul 2007 14:25:32 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Here&#39;s something fun ... catch a guy in a lie, and ask why he did it. &nbsp;&quot;I didn&#39;t want to hurt you. It was for your own good.&quot;&nbsp;Isn&#39;t that sweet of him? Instead of not doing something in the first place, he&#39;ll lie about it to spare your feelings. We&#39;re just thinking of YOU, in other words.&nbsp;This never seems to make sense to girls, though usually it&#39;s AFTER they find out that we lied, so it&#39;s not like they&#39;re in the most understanding mood to begin with. The funny thing is, a lot of things guys may lie about aren&#39;t even that big a deal, especially if we told you ahead of time. It&#39;s like going to dinner with an ex-girlfriend or something. If girls &nbsp;knew about it before it happened, they may not be happy, but they&#39;d be OK with it. &nbsp;Finding out about it later, though, just tends to piss them off.&nbsp;So guys, here&#39;s a little advice: If you feel like you have to lie about something so that your girlfriend doesn&#39;t find out, do one of two things: 1) Don&#39;t do it, or B) tell her about it ahead of time. Obviously don&#39;t go out and cheat on her, thinking it&#39;s alright cause you warned her ... though if you tell her you&#39;re going to do it, she&#39;ll probably dump your ass, and then you can do whatever you want. But if it&#39;s something stupid, just tell her.&nbsp;It&#39;s really just for your own good.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Why Hasn't He Called?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/why_hasnt_he_called.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 6 Jul 2007 12:15:13 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Let&#39;s face it, guys do a lot of crappy things to girls. Guys do a lot of crappy things to guys, too, but we tend to just get angry about it and resort to violence, whereas girls tend to get hurt&nbsp;emotionally. So why do guys do such mean, evil, cruel things then?&nbsp;Well, it&#39;s &#39;cause we&#39;re actually pretty practical. &nbsp;That might sound stupid, but hear me out. We tend to do whatever we want to do, with the least amount of pain for us. Practical, right? Even kinda logical. The problem is, we tend to forget that other people might get hurt when we&#39;re avoiding it. &nbsp;Let&#39;s look at some examples:&nbsp;&quot;I had fun, I&#39;ll call you.&quot; See, this could mean that we actually might call you. But where it gets confusing for girls is that it&nbsp;most likely means we kinda had fun, but don&#39;t really want to do it again ... but don&#39;t want to explain that to your FACE or something. Cause ... yikes. So we say we&#39;ll call you, then assume that not getting called is a good hint. Practical. Sure, from your point of view, it&#39;s just lying, but it&#39;s not like we&#39;re going to hear about that, since we&#39;re not exactly planning on talking to you again.&nbsp;See how this goes? It&#39;s not pretty, but let&#39;s continue.&nbsp;&quot;You told me you were staying home, but you went out with your friends?!&quot; So we told you a lie cause we knew it&#39;d cause a fight if we told you the truth. Guess what ... we were right. Here you are, forcing the truth on us, and we&#39;re fighting about it. We were right! ...But this probably isn&#39;t the time to point that out. But what do we get for trying to protect YOUR feelings (and really, just trying to avoid a fight and do what we want)? We get into a fight anyway. That&#39;ll teach us to be considerate.&nbsp;And here&#39;s the last one, a biggie:&nbsp;&quot;We&#39;re dating, but you went out with another girl?!&quot; Whoops. The obvious problem here is that either a) the other girl seemed like a good idea at the time, 2) we weren&#39;t sure how to break up with you, or whether we wanted to, or f) we just never even considered the fact that you&#39;d mind. Maybe all of the above. &nbsp;The thing is, guys in general can be enormous asses. We do what&#39;s easiest for us, to give us the most pleasure for the least pain. And that&#39;s really practical...&nbsp;Until we learn that we can&#39;t get away with it. And that&#39;s when we actually start to grow up and figure out that we can&#39;t keep treating girls this way, and we actually become someone worth dating. Wait it out, ladies, and don&#39;t take that crap from guys. Hold them to what they say, and call them out if they&#39;re full of it. &nbsp;It&#39;s the only way we learn. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Girly-Guys]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/girlyguys/</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 6 Jul 2007 12:14:15 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[So I&#39;ve talked about girls who are less girly-girls than tomboys, but I haven&#39;t talked about their opposites: girly-guys. And no, I&#39;m not talking about gay guys, though they could fall into this category, just like they can fall into the guy&#39;s guy category. Girly-guys are the ones who probably aren&#39;t too big into sports, might not be too tough, would easily back down from a fight and could easily spend a day with the girls just talking. &nbsp;Again, I&#39;m not really talking about gay guys. Stop saying that. &nbsp;Girly-guys are guys who tend to be more sensitive, more artistic, more creative. They think more than they jump off buildings, and read more than they join wrestling teams. They might be dorks, musicians, geniuses, loners, writers, gardeners, hikers, surfers, whatever. What they aren&#39;t is oblivious ... if anything, girly-guys think too much about other people.&nbsp;I&#39;ll talk more about these guys, but first I want to hear from you whether you know people like this. I&#39;m willing to bet every girl out there has a guy friend who&#39;s just like this, and he&#39;s one of her best friends. &nbsp;Well? Comment already!]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Don't SCARE Us Like That]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/dont_scare_us_like_that/</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 19:42:06 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I got a bunch of questions recently from girls asking if they&#39;ll scare guys away if the guy finds out the girl likes them. That brings up a good question: Do guys only want what they can&#39;t have? If a guy asks you out, and you say yes, is he going to look surprised, back away and tell you he can&#39;t believe he ever THOUGHT about asking you out, what kind of girl ARE you anyway?! &nbsp;Well, probably, cause we&#39;re just fickle. &nbsp;Seriously, guys are strange. A lot of the time, guys will want things they can&#39;t have. Like a PS3. GOD, I want a PS3. But if we&#39;re talking about girls, it&#39;s still true. And it&#39;s not like the girls have to be unavailable, or dating someone else, or gay or something. Even if we&#39;re just not dating them, they look good to us. &nbsp;It&#39;s all about the fun in getting, rather than having. Think about it ... most guys aren&#39;t exactly out searching for the person they&#39;re going to date for the rest of their life. They&#39;re just looking for someone to have fun with. And half that fun is the anticipation. If you actually GET the girl, all of a sudden you&#39;re dealing with a person with good and bad qualities, instead of just the perfect qualities the guy had imagined in his head. Getting can be a little disappointing sometimes.&nbsp;Still, it&#39;s not like guys are usually thinking this. There are very few guys who ONLY want to pick girls up, date them once or twice, then move on. Most guys probably just go through this subconsciously, with maybe a small percentage feeling a little disappointed.&nbsp;So are you going to drive a guy away by telling him you like him? &nbsp;Not at all.&nbsp;Cause while we do like the anticipation, the one thing we like MORE than that is knowing that some girl is interested in US, assuming there&#39;s some attraction there. Considering how we usually have to be the ones to ask girls out (and put ourselves on the line to do it), it&#39;s nice to a) have a little faith that the girl&#39;s going to say yes, and 2) get a little ego boost from knowing a girl likes you. &nbsp;This all sounds contradictory, I know. And the worst part is, we totally contradict ourselves all the time. It&#39;s cause we sometimes think with our brains, and usually think with our not-so-brains, and that can lead to different sorts of decisions. &nbsp;But never worry about scaring a guy off by admitting you like him, or saying yes to him if he asks you out. Want to scare a guy off? Play games with him. If you&#39;re not talking sports or video games, you&#39;ve already sent him running and screaming. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[10 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/10_things_guys_wish_girls_knew/</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 19:09:59 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Someone sent me a list of the 50 things guys should know about girls, so I thought I&#39;d return the favor. Here are 10 Things Guys Wish Girls Knew: &nbsp;10. We&#39;re not always thinking about hooking up. We&#39;re not even MOSTLY thinking about hooking up. It&#39;s only when we&#39;re around girls. Or see a girl from a distance. Or on TV. Or on the radio. Or if a car backfires and it sounds cute. But not ALL the time, OK?!&nbsp;9. We&#39;d love to be sensitive and caring and cuddling and a thousand other things you want us to be. But just like you have hormones shooting around inside you, we have this fun stuff called testosterone which makes us want to run into walls, or play violent video games, or tackle other guys (though this might also be a gay thing, so ask). We&#39;d love to be what you want us to be, but sometimes hormones get in the way. Or make us fart, then laugh at it. Hormones.&nbsp;8. Don&#39;t try to make us jealous. We don&#39;t want to be jealous. It doesn&#39;t bring us closer to you, it pushes us away. If we&#39;re not dating you and you try to make us jealous, we think you&#39;re not interested and stop caring. If we&#39;re dating you and you try to make us jealous, we think you&#39;re cheating and dump you, or just tackle the other guy (this probably isn&#39;t a gay thing, ps). &nbsp;7. No, we SHOULDN&#39;T know what we did wrong. If we should know it, we&#39;d know it. Obviously we don&#39;t. Don&#39;t get all self-righteous with us if you actually want to work things out, that just annoys us. Why not try actually talking to us about it instead of pouting? You might get an apology a lot faster, and one with a lot more sincerity.&nbsp;6. Sentimental stuff? Most guys just don&#39;t get the appeal. That means that we&#39;re not forgetting our anniversary because we don&#39;t care, but because we don&#39;t really get the point. We don&#39;t forget YOU, obviously, or we&#39;d stop coming by. YOU are important to us, and we know why. But the day a year ago that we started dating? Isn&#39;t that just history? If we don&#39;t care in class, why should we care in life? &nbsp;5. We don&#39;t understand how you could possibly care about as much as you do. Guys live our lives 24/7 and never find the time to care how clean their car is, or whether they&#39;re wearing the same clothes four days in a row, as long as we don&#39;t smell them. There&#39;s just no time to CARE that much. We don&#39;t know how you do it, but we respect that you do, and don&#39;t yell at YOU for caring TOO much ... so show us the same respect and stop caring that we don&#39;t care. &nbsp;4. Yes, we looked at that girl, but try not turning the next time someone snaps their fingers next to your ear, and see how far YOU get. &nbsp;3. Learn to appreciate the things that we do for you. Sometimes they may not seem like much to you, but we were totally thinking of you when we bought you that deodorant. You were out, and we know how much we hate going shopping, so look how sweet we were!&nbsp;2. Stop reading into things. If we say we like your freckles, don&#39;t take that to say that we hate your freckles and think they&#39;re ugly and how could we possibly have pointed them out. Cause ... wha?&nbsp;1. Girls are pretty complex, emotionally, and we know that. Guys seem pretty simple emotionally, and we let you think that. But deep down, we&#39;re just as completely insane as you are. We&#39;ve just learned that you hide the crazy by calling it stupidity, and no one notices. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Bad Boys Part II]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/bad_boys_part_ii/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jun 2007 13:43:08 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[So in my Bad Boys blog post, I asked girls to give me reasons why dating bad boys is a good thing, cause I just don&#39;t get the point. I also said that I&#39;d post some of the comments, so here you are, along with some comments &#39;cause I can&#39;t shut up. (BTW, I know a lot of you were saying how other girls see bad boys, not you, but what fun would it be if I didn&#39;t pretend it was you and answer meanly?)&nbsp;Girls like bad boys because they think that they will have a better time than with a good guy.&nbsp;So if you&#39;re a &quot;good girl,&quot; guys would have a better time with bad girls, then, right? &nbsp;Good girls go for bad boys cuz they&#39;re edgy and fun. They give us something that not all other guys can. They give us fun, adventure and they&#39;re rebellious.&nbsp;It&#39;s crazy how much good boys hate fun, isn&#39;t it?&nbsp;Girls like bad boys b/c it&nbsp;gives them a sense of rebellion.&nbsp;There&#39;s something about the whole badass thing that is totally hot.&nbsp;&nbsp;Why not just rebel yourself? Or is it just easier to be associated with rebellion, but still be able to go back to your regular life whenever it&#39;s convenient?&nbsp;YOU are the one that gets under the image (supposedly) and gets to know the real him.&nbsp; You can change him and see the good guy.&nbsp;&nbsp;Fair enough ... let us know how that works out for you.&nbsp;Good girls go for bad boys because opposites attract.&nbsp;Well, after all that adventure and rebellion, you&#39;ll be too tired to talk anyway, probably.&nbsp;Good girls like bad boys because they want to change themselves!&nbsp;The good girl life consists of always being a perfect little angel and never doing anything wrong.&nbsp; BORING.&nbsp;&nbsp;This one was interesting to me. At least it admits that some girls might use bad boys as a springboard to let themselves do something more exciting. &nbsp;The truth is that we date bad boys because we are to scared to commit to a relationship right now so we chose the bad boys because we know it won&#39;t last.&nbsp;This was interesting to me too. You want a relationship, but not the pressure, so you pick someone you know will let you down. It&#39;s ... an idea, I guess.&nbsp;They never feel like they should have to follow a crowd. They want to be different and they don&#39;t care what other people think.&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#39;ve never really gotten the point of being different just to be different. I know a lot of people who will stop liking something because it becomes popular. Isn&#39;t THAT just caring about what other people think, literally?&nbsp;I think&nbsp;that&#39;s stupid. No offense.&nbsp;Um, thanks!&nbsp;You know that girls say that why do bad boys got&nbsp;2 be cute and good ones ugly no offense&nbsp;Uh, none taken.&nbsp;You mean to tell me there is something you DON&#39;T know or can&#39;t even PRETEND you know?....what has happened to James!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM!!! IMPOSTER!!!&nbsp;Oh, let&#39;s be honest, I could totally make something up about this, no problem. But I was honestly curious ... it was something I never really understood. I think I&#39;ve got a better idea now, even if I don&#39;t see the point. But thanks everyone, and feel free to tear up MY comments in the comments below!]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Guys*]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/everything_you_ever_wanted_to_know_about_guys/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 19 Jun 2007 13:41:44 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Since so many girls ask questions here, I figured I&#39;d take some time out and explain guys to them. It&#39;s really not that&nbsp;hard, actually. &nbsp;How can this guy act like he likes me one day and then blow me off when he&#39;s with his friends or whatever?&nbsp;Guys are human beings. We don&#39;t know what to do in every situation, so we sometimes (and I know this is hard to believe) make things up as we go. That means that one day we might really like you, and show it ... and the next, we might be having a bad day and just not want to talk to anyone. Or maybe we&#39;re talking to our friends and don&#39;t see you. Or maybe we like you but don&#39;t want our friends to know. Or maybe we liked you yesterday, but today not so much. &nbsp;We guys don&#39;t have our crap straight any more than you girls do. We&#39;re going to confuse girls with our actions because WE don&#39;t always understand them, or even understand what&#39;s going on.&nbsp;Does this guy like me?&nbsp;Guys are human beings. While one guy does something to show a girl he likes her, another guy might do the opposite. One guy might be extra nice to you if he likes you. Another might be extra mean. Or maybe a guy will be extra nice to you as your friend. &nbsp;Every guy is different, and half the time you can&#39;t even get a straight answer out of them if you ask. And why is that? Because maybe he&#39;s shy, or embarrassed, or just doesn&#39;t want to share his feelings with you for some reason. Maybe he&#39;s your friend and thinks it&#39;d upset your friendship if he did. Maybe he thinks you&#39;d reject him. Maybe he just doesn&#39;t like you.&nbsp;Why do guys __________?&nbsp;Guys are human beings. That means that there&#39;s no way to lump us all in as one group. Yes, I know that&#39;s what I&#39;ve been doing in every blog post since I started, but just like girls know that every time I talk about girls as a group, I&#39;m leaving a bunch out, it&#39;s the same with guys. If I say one thing, I guarantee you that you&#39;ll find a guy who does something else in the exact same situation. Just like anything I say about girls.&nbsp;Well, how are you supposed to deal with guys then if you never know what they&#39;re thinking?&nbsp;The same way guys are supposed to deal with girls: The closer we get to you, usually the better we end up communicating. If you really want to know something about a guy, just get to know him. Find out how he deals with things like friendship, girlfriends, whatever. Then you&#39;ll know a lot better than I ever could how he&#39;s feeling. And try asking him ... you never know, you might get a real answer.&nbsp;Yeah, it sucks never knowing what&#39;s going on in our heads, just like it sucks that we never know what&#39;s going on in yours. But keep at it, and maybe someday you&#39;ll get a little more insight. Just be careful what you wish for ... our heads usually need to be cleaned. &nbsp;* And weren&#39;t afraid to ask.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Aww, Aren't You Cute]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/aww_arent_you_cute/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 12 Jun 2007 13:44:01 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[So it sounds like we&#39;re having a vocabulary&nbsp;malfunction here. It&#39;s not easy for guys and girls to communicate as it is, even when we think we know what the other person is saying. But when we use the same words and mean different things ... it&#39;s no wonder no one understands what the hell the other is saying. &nbsp;Let&#39;s take a moment to go over&nbsp;the words that&nbsp;are causing the most confusion:&nbsp;Cute -- While a girl might call a puppy &quot;cute,&quot; a guy&#39;s probably not going to be going on about how cute a baby is or something. When we say &quot;cute,&quot; we mean something very specific: attractive, but in a girl-next-door, step-above-friends kinda way. It&#39;s definitely something we like, and I think cute girls are the ones that we probably end up dating more often than not. Cute doesn&#39;t throw your assets in our face ... we know they&#39;re there, and you know they&#39;re there, and we&#39;re all OK with that. Mandy Moore is totally cute, ps.&nbsp;Hot -- Speaking of assets, a hot girl knows she&#39;s got &#39;em and wants to make sure a guy knows that. Hot girls aren&#39;t subtle about being hot. It&#39;s not like they&#39;re dressing all skankily or something (and yeah, skankily probably isn&#39;t a word, but that&#39;s never stopped me before), it&#39;s more like an attitude. Hot girls are the ones guys drool over, like Jessica Alba, but they&#39;re not really girls we&#39;d want to date. And most guys are secretly intimidated by hot girls anyway, so hot is usually something we say about girls we wouldn&#39;t go after. &quot;Wow, she&#39;s hot! Uh, I&#39;M not talking to her, YOU go talk to her.&quot;&nbsp;Pretty -- Sometimes a guy can look at a girl and realize that she&#39;s good-looking, but just not be attracted to her. That&#39;s where &quot;pretty&quot; can come in. It&#39;s related to cute ... you wouldn&#39;t call a hot girl pretty, whether or not you were attracted to her. But it&#39;s missing that connection that cute has. Natalie Portman is just kinda ... pretty.&nbsp;Beautiful -- If this were the SATs, &quot;cute&quot; would go to &quot;hot&quot; like &quot;pretty&quot; goes to &quot;beautiful.&quot; A girl who&#39;s beautiful isn&#39;t showing off her assets ... there&#39;s something classier going on here. She&#39;s just as intimidating, though. Someone like Carrie Underwood is just beautiful. She&#39;s not wearing short skirts or anything, but the girl looks like an angel. And there&#39;s no way any guy is just going to walk up to her and ask her out. She&#39;s way too perfect for that.&nbsp;So those are the definitions. Now, here&#39;s where the fun part comes in: One girl can fall into every different category at different times. Say you&#39;re playing around, just watching TV ... that girl might be cute. But take her out to dinner where she dresses up, you might now think she&#39;s beautiful. Or you guys go to a club or something and suddenly, you can&#39;t believe the hot girl you&#39;re with.&nbsp;Basically, if a guy uses one of these words on you, you just have to remember: It&#39;s a case-by-case basis, and could change depending on the situation. Now, since I&#39;m guessing there are going to be a lot of people who disagree, go ahead and leave your definitions in the comments. If you can convince me, I&#39;ll post it. &nbsp;Good luck with THAT, though.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Bad Boys]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/bad_boys.4/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 12 Jun 2007 13:41:38 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[OK, I&#39;m going to take a break for a second. I&#39;ve explained a lot, and had a lot of people call me gay or stereotyping, so I think I deserve to get a question answered this time, instead of doing the answering myself.&nbsp;Why do girls go for bad boys?&nbsp;I&#39;ve never understood the attraction. You WANT to go for the guy who&#39;s guaranteed of hurting you? Or is it something about fixing him, or finding the good guy underneath?&nbsp;Where&#39;s the attraction here, girls? Post a comment below, cause I want to know. I&#39;ll respond to your comments in a later blog. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Got a Problem With That?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/got_a_problem_with_that/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 5 Jun 2007 14:53:01 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Guys like to solve problems. It&#39;s just how we think. We&#39;re not talking about like world peace, but if someone comes to us and says, &quot;I&#39;m annoyed because of blah, blah and blah,&quot; we&#39;re going to say, &quot;Have you tried&nbsp;kicking blah? I mean, hard? It might make you feel better.&quot; &nbsp;We&#39;re just sensitive that way. We want everyone to be happy.&nbsp;But this can cause problems, especially with girls. Because girls (and this is the strange part to guys) talk about things to, you know, TALK about them. They&#39;ll go over problems with other people to get sympathy, to talk through them and to hear that someone else understands. Usually if they want advice, they&#39;ll even ask for it.&nbsp;I know, waiting for someone to ASK for advice, guys? Why not just emasculate us all right now. &nbsp;This is just one of those cases where most guys and most girls are different. Guys tend to think that if you&#39;re talking about a problem without trying to fix it, you&#39;re just complaining. And girls tend to think that a guy&#39;s butting in, trying to help something that doesn&#39;t necessarily need any help (or at least not through advice.) &nbsp;Guys, your intentions are good, I know, but unless someone asks for your advice, its usually better to keep your opinion to yourself, and just listen. Believe it or not, that&#39;ll actually probably help more than whatever crappy advice you were going to offer. &nbsp;But girls? Sometimes it works the same way in reverse. If you&#39;re telling a guy about a problem, and he suggests some stupid way to solve it ... why not just listen to him, and say that it sounds like a good idea? Give him back some of that whole listening thing, and he&#39;ll probably appreciate it as much as you would have. Then, after he&#39;s satisfied with trying to fix it, you can continue on talking through it. &nbsp;That&#39;s called a win/win, mostly &#39;cause I just solved the whole problem right here. WOW, that feels good. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[You Asked for It]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/you_asked_for_it/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 5 Jun 2007 14:51:00 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Ready for some more questions and answers? ...That was a question, people, and I didn&#39;t hear an answer. Wow, way to be polite. &nbsp;Q: What&#39;s with boys and their hormones? &nbsp;A: Seriously! It&#39;s like there are these things called hormones that make your body grow into an adult, and those hormones are active for most of the rest of your life, keeping you able to have children and stuff. Stupid boys! Phew, glad GIRLS don&#39;t have hormones ... who knows what the world would be like!&nbsp;Q: Ummm....Why does everyone think you&#39;re weird?&nbsp;A: Ummm, a) they just don&#39;t get things like you and I do, and 2) none of you really have any idea how weird I am. It&#39;s really kinda insane. And yet, I&#39;m like the most normal person who works at RED, so there you go. &nbsp;Q: How do you receive signals if a girl likes you? I am completely clueless when a girl gives me a signal or is flirting with me. I just think she&#39;s nice.&nbsp;A: I hate to tell you, but I&#39;m exactly the same way ... completely oblivious. And it annoys girls, cause they think they&#39;re being obvious, and I&#39;m just watching geese walking across a road. Geese are messed up. So I know what you mean, but give the girls a chance ... they&#39;ll get frustrated enough eventually where they just smack you over the head with it, sometimes literally. Here are some suggestions for reading her signals.&nbsp;Q: Hi ugly.&nbsp;A: That&#39;s ... not really a question, but ... hi?&nbsp;Q: What the heck is going on here?&nbsp;A: You&#39;re tellin&#39; ME!&nbsp;Q: Do you actually answer emails that say stuff like, &quot;Does he like me?&quot;&nbsp;A: Usually no, cause Dear Dee does that a lot better, and I don&#39;t know the guy. But I liked that you were cynical enough to question it first. Nice one. &nbsp;Q: If a guy says you&#39;re adorable, does he love you?&nbsp;A: Maybe as a friend, but you&#39;re pushing it for more than that. Adorable is one of those words that&#39;s like right on the edge of things. I&#39;ll do a blog on this soon. It&#39;s a fun topic. Like, what&#39;s the difference between beautiful and cute? HUGE difference. &nbsp;Q: Ok so in one of your blogs you said you might do one with hot vs pretty vs beautiful i think that would be SUCH a good one cuz after a while it seems when guys call you hot it seems that beautiful means SOOOO much more.&nbsp;A: You just blew my mind. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Mind Your Manners]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/mind_your_manners/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 29 May 2007 13:30:51 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Since we&#39;ve already talked about being gross (and the comments proved that girls are just as disgusting as guys, apparently), let&#39;s talk a little about something else. &nbsp;Manners. &nbsp;I&#39;m not talking about which fork you use for the soup (try it, it works); I&#39;m talking about how to act in public so you don&#39;t look like an idiot to the opposite sex. And while seeing how many donuts you can get in your mouth might be fun, and delicious, it&#39;s not going to get you any dates. Well, unless your date likes donuts, I guess. And who doesn&#39;t, really?&nbsp;Here are some quick suggestions about what not to do, before we get into what you should do:&nbsp;-- Don&#39;t shove food (or anything else) in your mouth. If you have to compact it so it fits, you&#39;re already in trouble. &nbsp;-- No one likes wedgies, but there&#39;s a time and place to pick them. The time is right now, but the place is with your back to a wall or something. Helpful hint: Use the friction of the wall to pull that bad boy out. Just takes a little scraping and you&#39;re good.&nbsp;-- Don&#39;t pick your nose, no matter how tempting it is. Use a tissue and blow it. If you pick, then you end up with something sticky on your finger that just isn&#39;t gonna come off without flicking it ... probably right into someone&#39;s face. As a side note, I shouldn&#39;t have to tell you that eating it isn&#39;t a good solution here ... but you and I both know I had to say it.&nbsp;-- Farting or burping is only appropriate when you can do it quietly. If you think you&#39;re gonna erupt, take it into the bathroom, or better yet outside. DO NOT do it in a car, especially if there are window locks ... it&#39;s just going to end badly for everyone. If you accidentally let loose, be sure to blame someone nearby, but do it subtly: Just wrinkle your nose and back away from the person. Works every time.&nbsp;-- I know you&#39;re going to itch ... well, you-know-where. But learn how to scratch without being obvious. No one wants to watch you digging like you&#39;re looking for buried treasure.&nbsp;Now, here are some things to do:&nbsp;-- Hold doors, for everyone, guys or girls. No one likes walking into a door, and it makes people think you&#39;re a gentleman, even when we all know it&#39;s just an act.&nbsp;-- Compliment girls on their outfits, if you really like them. (Don&#39;t just compliment every girl -- that&#39;ll backfire.) It makes them feel good, and tells them that you have good taste ... along with the confidence to share it. &nbsp;-- Listen when someone&#39;s talking. Guys love to give advice (this is going to be another whole blog) and try to fix things, but that&#39;s not what most people want when they&#39;re venting about something. Just shut up and listen ... it&#39;ll help a lot more.&nbsp;That&#39;s a good start, but don&#39;t let these rules go to your head. It&#39;s perfectly cool to slam a door in your buddy&#39;s face, or fart on him when he asks for it. That&#39;s just good manners. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Two Wrongs Make a Right]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/two_wrongs_make_a_right/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 29 May 2007 13:29:55 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[It&#39;s nice being right all the time. Trust me, I&#39;d know, &#39;cause whether or not it&#39;s true, I always KNOW I&#39;m right. That&#39;s just how most guys are. It&#39;s either confidence or stupidity, but they look the same in the end. &nbsp;There are probably evolutionary reasons for why we always think we&#39;re right. You know, something about hunting and gathering and crap. If a lion was hunting us, we had to make split-second choices and believe in them, or we&#39;d be dead. It&#39;s just like today, when we&#39;re playing a video game where a lion&#39;s hunting us. If we don&#39;t KNOW we&#39;re right, we lose a life, and there are only like three of those. &nbsp;It&#39;s life or death, is what I&#39;m saying.&nbsp;Still, KNOWING that we&#39;re right doesn&#39;t mean we have to throw it in girls&#39; faces. Girls tend to be more flexible and more open-minded than we are. It&#39;s probably something evolutionary, too, like having to search through a bunch of guys before finding one that doesn&#39;t fart when you say his name. &nbsp;Here&#39;s my advice. Chances are you&#39;re going to get into an argument with a girl, and that you&#39;ll disagree on something or other. I know, I must be psychic to figure that out. But one thing that tends to really piss off all the girls I know is when you&#39;re not even willing to admit you might possibly in some crazy way be close to wrong. Which, as&nbsp;guys, we know isn&#39;t the case. But KNOWING that we&#39;re right means that we&#39;re secure enough that we can admit to maybe being wrong, if just to make the girl feel better. It&#39;s about stepping up. It&#39;s OK to say you might be wrong if you know for sure you&#39;re not. You&#39;re doing it for someone else, and that&#39;s the right thing to do, right?&nbsp;Oh, just admit it, you know I&#39;m right.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Does He Like You?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/does_he_like_you.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 22 May 2007 14:25:42 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I&#39;ve been getting lots of e-mails all asking the same question: &quot;Does the guy I like feel the same way about me?&quot; I always want to give the same answer: &quot;No, he likes your best friend.&quot; And seriously, that&#39;s mean of me. Which is why I just don&#39;t answer.&nbsp;But it&#39;s a legitimate question. Guys aren&#39;t known for sharing their feelings all the time. So how can you know if one&#39;s interested, assuming he didn&#39;t, you know, tell you? &nbsp;Here&#39;s the thing: It sucks to be a guy. We&#39;re expected to always make the first move (sure, girls do, but it&#39;s a lot more rare), which means we&#39;re going to face a lot more rejection than girls are. Plus, we&#39;re dealing with hormones going wild like girls wouldn&#39;t believe, so we&#39;re not sure what day it is half the time, let alone if we really like you or just think you have a nice butt. &nbsp;Sadly, I know people who&#39;ve had to ask themselves that question.&nbsp;All that said, it&#39;s easy to see why a lot of guys are less than clear about what they&#39;re thinking, which can leave girls wondering what the hell is going on. But that&#39;s where I come in. I&#39;m here to help.&nbsp;Here are some easy clues to tell when a guy&#39;s interested in you:&nbsp;-- His voice cracks whenever he says hello.-- He has to towel himself off from all the nervous sweating whenever you&#39;re around.-- In sports, he plays his hardest when you&#39;re watching, usually resulting in tripping or knocking over a teammate. -- He drops crap all over himself when talking, especially: drinks, food, small pets, etc.-- He sells his baseball tickets &#39;cause you mention that you might want to stay home and watch &#39;The Notebook&#39; tonight.-- He makes a mix CD for you of &quot;songs you might like&quot; that all happen to be love songs. Which he just bought. And has never listened to before. -- He refuses to burp in front of you, and yells at his friends for doing it.-- He says something stupid, blushes and runs away, usually smacking into something in the process.-- You mention you like an outfit of his, and suddenly it&#39;s all he wears. &nbsp;There are a lot more obvious ones, like wanting to spend time with you, talking to you all the time, that kind of thing, but I didn&#39;t think I even needed to mention those, they were so clear. The only hard part comes in telling the difference between a guy friend and a guy who&#39;s interested in more. And there ... well, good luck, &#39;cause half the time the guy doesn&#39;t even know. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[A Good Cry Part III]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/a_good_cry_part_iii/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 22 May 2007 14:21:28 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[OK, so a couple of people actually managed to guess it, but it was after I gave a hint, so I don&#39;t think it really counts. Besides, I don&#39;t think I&#39;d look that good in a pretty, pretty princess dress. &nbsp;Still, you want the movie?&nbsp;It was &#39;The Iron Giant.&#39; There&#39;s a scene near the end where the Giant thinks his little friend is dead, so goes all crazy ... only it turns out his friend is still alive, but the army tries to blow the giant up with a nuclear bomb, but the bomb will take out the whole town, so the Giant ... he goes up and ...&nbsp;OK, I can&#39;t talk about it. But it&#39;s like the saddest thing EVER.&nbsp;Yeah, so there you go. Now go rent it, cause it&#39;s the best movie, and since only like two people guessed it, no one&#39;s seen it.&nbsp;Those people who guessed Disney movies ALMOST found out about my secret love for all things Disney, by the way. Phew! Really side-stepped THAT landmine. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Fun in the Sun]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/fun_in_the_sun.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2007 12:46:02 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[OK, guys, it&#39;s about that time of year again. I know vacation&#39;s coming up, and that usually makes us do stupider crap than usual ... and I&#39;m all for that. But there&#39;s stupid (staying up for 36 straight hours going through a season on &#39;Madden&#39;) and then there&#39;s STUPID (skateboarding off your roof &#39;cause you think you&#39;re just that good.)&nbsp;Let&#39;s look at a few STUPID things to not do this summer vacation.&nbsp;Speedos: Unless you&#39;re on a starting block at a swim meet, you better not be wearing these. Seriously, no one but Brad Pitt could pull this off ... and even he&#39;s gonna get laughs. Considering what you&#39;re showing off, the last thing you want is laughs. &nbsp;Whistling and Yelling at Girls: I&#39;ve never understood guys who do this. What are they hoping is gonna happen? &nbsp;Guy: *whistles* Whooo, you&#39;re hot!Girl: Oh, really? *giggle* No one&#39;s ever said that to me before!Guy: Sweet. Can I have your number?Girl: *giggle* Nope, because I don&#39;t exist, and this would never happen in real life.&nbsp;Wow, cold. &nbsp;Driving Fast: This is always one of the stupider things guys do to impress girls. They think that girls think like they do, that going faster is more fun. But most girls tend to think that going faster is more likely to get you killed when you&#39;re weaving in and out of traffic. Not to go all Driver&#39;s Ed on you, but&nbsp;I&#39;m just saying it doesn&#39;t impress girls and usually turns them off. &nbsp;Eating It on a Skateboard/Four-Wheeler/Etc.: You know, this one was hard. It&#39;s stupid, but it&#39;s so much fun to watch. Let&#39;s say that you shouldn&#39;t, &#39;cause you&#39;re one of the smart ones, reading my blog, but go ahead and tell your friends that they can make that jump ... and then laugh your butt off watching them land on theirs. Good times. &nbsp;Eating Ice Cream Too Fast: Don&#39;t be a hero. It&#39;s not worth it. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Keep It Clean]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/keep_it_clean/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2007 12:44:23 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[OK, my desk is disgusting. I know it, and I&#39;m all right with it. Everyone else&#39;s desks range from a little bit messy to like untouched by dust, they&#39;re that clean. Why do girls like things so organized and, you know, sanitary? &nbsp;It&#39;s like your shower. It&#39;s not like mold is going to kill you or something ... well, it can, but only if it gets in your lungs. And how likely is that? OK, very likely, but still ... it adds color. &nbsp;Seriously, cleaning&#39;s a pain, but when girls start avoiding your place (or desk) because it&#39;s such a pit, that gets to be a problem. Now, I&#39;m not suggesting you clean it ... &#39;cause really, I wouldn&#39;t ask you to do anything I wouldn&#39;t. But here&#39;s a suggestion that I find works. &nbsp;Ask them to HELP you clean it. &nbsp;This works on a lot of levels. First, you get your stuff cleaned, which isn&#39;t such a bad thing when you&#39;re not doing all the work. B.) You get to split the work, and not do it all yourself. And third, when the girl sees how crappy a job you&#39;re doing, she&#39;ll probably take over for you and finish it all anyway.&nbsp;It&#39;s what we like to call a win/win, cause you win twice, and she ... well, not so much wins, but at least doesn&#39;t have to smell your stuff anymore. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[I'm Starting to Blush]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/im_starting_to_blush/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 8 May 2007 14:36:14 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[So Jessica Simpson makes a good point here. Guys look at makeup and see a waste of time, usually, but that&#39;s because we don&#39;t really get the benefit. And that&#39;s cause we&#39;ve got the bar set low ... most guys don&#39;t use makeup on a regular basis, not even stars. (Yeah, I know they do in films and TV, but stay with me.)Since makeup might be more important than we thought for girls, though, we should probably know enough to get by ... even if it&#39;s just to complain when girls are taking forever to put it on. With a little help from Fashion Girl Jen, I put together the basics of makeup. Don&#39;t try this at home guys ... or really anywhere, unless you think you&#39;re man enough to pull it off. Blush -- Most are powder, but they can be liquid or gels too. Blush makes your cheeks look all flush, like you&#39;re embarrassed. Guys just rip one for the same effect. Lipstick -- This one&#39;s pretty obvious: it&#39;s a solid color that goes on the lips and gets all over everything. Good stuff.Lip Gloss -- Or sometimes just gloss, this is like a clear lipstick that makes the lips all shiny. And guys like shiny things; we&#39;re distracted easily.Eyeliner -- This goes above or below the eye ... you might even say it &quot;lines&quot; the eyes. But only if you wanted to be obvious. This is what gives girls&#39; eyes a dark outline sometimes. Goth girls go through a lot. Feel free to comment, goth girls ... but please do it in the form of a depressing poem. Mascara -- Mascara makes the eyelashes either longer or thicker. I&#39;ve never gotten this one. Who was the first woman to run a dirty brush through their eyelashes and think, hmm, I love how that makes me look?Eyeshadow -- This goes on the eyelid so that you get a blast of color whenever the girl blinks. Again, I think guys get this by farting, but you&#39;ll have to take my word for it.Foundation -- Foundation goes all over the face to smooth everything out into one color. Let&#39;s call it the base coat of paint. Concealer -- This is the touch-up to foundation&#39;s base coat. You slop it on over the dark circles under your eyes, zits or whatever. Those will be little surprises for later. Bronzer -- Fake tan in a bottle, just without the skin cancer. Good times. Now that you know, drug stores will make a little more sense, and you&#39;ll be set for next Halloween when you and your buddies decide to dress up as women. Just remember to open your mouth when you use the mascara ... it&#39;s like a law of nature. If you don&#39;t, I think your eyes pop out. Seriously.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[A Good Cry Part II]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/a_good_cry_part_ii.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 8 May 2007 14:29:46 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[So despite a ton of guesses, no one even got close to the one movie that made me cry. I guess I should give you all a clue, just to make it a little more fair. &nbsp;The movie was a cartoon (and yeah, I know that&#39;s sad), and it came out within the last ten years. &nbsp;That&#39;s SO easy now, I&#39;m practically giving it away.&nbsp;By the way, I did get close on a few other films, like &#39;Titanic&#39; ... until a friend of mine was like, &quot;Ah, c&#39;mon, just get on the stupid lifeboat already!&quot; when Rose hopped off it for like the fifth time. That sorta ruined it ... and makes a good point about guys and sad movies, I think. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Who's Hungry?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/whos_hungry/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 8 May 2007 14:29:36 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[You know what&#39;s not fun? Trying to decide where to go to lunch with a bunch of girls who have, you know, opinions about what they want. It&#39;s always a big conversation about where to eat.&nbsp;But it&#39;s so easy for guys: We could easily go to the same place, over and over and over, every day of the week. I&#39;d eat the same thing for three meals a day if I could. &nbsp;It&#39;s all about a combination of a) not caring, 2) liking something just about enough and c) we already put the effort in once to find something we like ... why do it again?&nbsp;That&#39;s guys for you ... saving energy for when we really need it. You know, like watching TV.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[A Good Cry]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/a_good_cry/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 1 May 2007 19:16:09 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[There are all kinds of lists going around the Internet of movies that make guys cry. First, those lists are totally full of crap (&#39;The Notebook?&#39; Really?). And B), guys don&#39;t cry in movies. That&#39;s just it. It&#39;s not even a question.&nbsp;That said, here are movies that make guys cry:&nbsp;&#39;Top Gun&#39; -- OK, there&#39;s some romance in this one with Kelly McGillis, but really, the worst part is when Goose hits the canopy, and we know he&#39;s not going to make it, but we&#39;re still hoping ... but then he doesn&#39;t, and ... negative, ghost rider, the pattern&#39;s full ... oh god. &nbsp;James Bond -- It could be any of them, but I&#39;ve seen grown men weep at the gadgets they invent for these movies. A jet-pack? I ... I&#39;ve got something in my eye, sorry. &nbsp;&#39;Die Hard 2: Die Harder&#39; -- Sometimes it&#39;s not so much about the movie, but rather&nbsp;being sad about what&nbsp;it could&nbsp;have been. &#39;Die Hard?&#39; Awesome. &#39;Die Hard 3?&#39; Awesome. (I might be alone there.) &#39;Die Hard 2?&#39; Craptacular. And that&#39;s just depressing. &#39;Snakes on a Plane,&#39; I&#39;m looking at you here. Oh, and the last two &#39;Matrix&#39; movies. And &#39;Rocky V.&#39; &#39;Jackie Brown.&#39; &nbsp;OK, I have to stop before I run out of tissues here. &nbsp;Quentin Tarantino/John Woo/Martin Scorsese -- These directors give me a lump in my throat just talking about them. Have you ever seen someone shoot a guy so beautifully? It&#39;s like a ballet of awesomeness. Which pretty much makes it not a ballet, but you know what I mean. &nbsp;This is all getting way too sad for me, so I&#39;ll just jump ahead to the worst one.&nbsp;&#39;Empire Strikes Back&#39; -- Call me a dork (Kori just did ... while sitting next to her Legolas cardboard figure, ironically), but every guy loves &#39;Star Wars.&#39; And any guy who sees Darth Vader say he&#39;s Luke father ... well, if he doesn&#39;t tear up right there, the guy&#39;s made of stone. And not because it&#39;s sad ... no, we all wish OUR dads had lightsabers! &nbsp;That&#39;s about all I can do. This is getting me so down I&#39;m almost ready to admit the one movie I actually DID cry in. Should I? &nbsp;Nah! It&#39;s a tough one anyway ... there&#39;s no way you&#39;d ever guess. How sure am I? If anyone guesses it in the comments, I&#39;ll ... well, I&#39;ll do something humiliating. Like ... um ...&nbsp;&quot;Dress up like a princess and have Jen and Kori videotape you as a pretty pretty princess and air it for all to see!&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;... Thanks Jen. &nbsp;You know what? Sure. I&#39;m that confident. Anyone guesses right, and I&#39;ll ... what she said. &nbsp;Ugh. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Chick Flicks]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/chick_flicks/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 24 Apr 2007 11:58:11 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[OK, what&#39;s the appeal of &#39;Dirty Dancing&#39;? And why did about 50 people freak out when I said that &#39;Grease&#39; sucks? I don&#39;t get chick flicks, and obviously I&#39;m not alone. &nbsp;Let&#39;s go through the list of reasons guys don&#39;t like chick flicks:&nbsp;-- Patrick Swayze in movies not called &#39;Roadhouse.&#39;-- Old women dropping priceless jewelry into the ocean.-- Reese Witherspoon.-- Choreographed dancing not involving some kind of weapon.-- Songs involving hand-jiving. -- Almost ANY song not sung at a bar. And karaoke doesn&#39;t count, Britney.-- Anything that promises in the trailer that you&#39;ll cry.-- Anything involving more than one generation of women.-- No bomb threats, terrorist plots or cool gadgets.-- No gadgets of any kind.-- Sharing feelings.-- Sharing feelings at 2AM..-- Sharing feelings about men at 2AM.-- Sharing feelings about men at 2AM over a nice cup of warm milk.-- No slow motion. -- Anything where a &quot;healthy&quot; woman finds love. -- Anything with a dress-up montage. Montages are for sports training.-- No sports training.-- No fast cars, fast planes, fast trains, fast boats ... and no chases on any of them.-- Not even a chase on foot. That&#39;s just sad. -- No dirty cops, stupid sidekicks, space fights, super-villains or Harrison Ford-- Julia Roberts.-- Julia Roberts again.-- Anything where you have to hear the words &quot;you&#39;ve got mail&quot; more than once.-- Anything involving mail of any kind, especially if it&#39;s to the love of your life who lives in the same house two years earlier.-- Anything that involves someone named Romeo, unless it&#39;s the name the guy took when his family was all killed by someone named Capulet.-- Tom Hanks, when Meg Ryan&#39;s around. We&#39;re not sure what she does to him, but it ain&#39;t pretty.-- Anything involving Hugh Grant, especially if he&#39;s mumbling all Britishly.-- Anytime someone says &quot;I love you ... but I mustn&#39;t!&quot; &nbsp;And the thing we hate MOST about chick flicks?&nbsp;&quot;Nobody puts Baby in a corner.&quot; We have zero idea what that means. &nbsp;]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Why Can't We Be Friends?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/why_cant_we_be_friends/</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 23 Apr 2007 17:35:17 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Can guys and girls REALLY be friends? The question&#39;s come up a few times in comments, but it&#39;s also come up here at RED this past week. Kori and I were talking about it, whether guys and girls can actually be friends, or if it&#39;s really just that one is attracted to the other, and hangs around because of it. &nbsp;Let&#39;s be honest, we&#39;re talking about the guys here.&nbsp;CAN guys be friends with girls? OK, the answer is sort of obvious in a lot of cases ... if the guy isn&#39;t attracted to her, or if she&#39;s got a boyfriend, or if he&#39;s gay, it&#39;s not even a question. Of course they can be friends. &nbsp;But what happens if a guy&#39;s attracted to a girl? Can THEY be friends?&nbsp;It&#39;s not an easy question, mostly because guys have these things called hormones that tend to flood our brains whenever a cute girl looks at us. It&#39;s fun; you girls should try it sometime. &nbsp;Here&#39;s a fun way to see what it&#39;s like: Dunk yourself underwater in a pool, and try to talk to&nbsp;someone&nbsp;whose head is out of the water. See how much the other person can understand. It&#39;s about that way for us, which is great. By the way, don&#39;t do this in a kiddie pool... you don&#39;t want to swallow that water. &nbsp;So for those of us who work with a bunch of cute girls (that&#39;s a whole other blog right there, &quot;cute&quot; vs. &quot;hot&quot; vs. &quot;pretty&quot; vs. &quot;beautiful&quot;), it&#39;s sometimes hard to think straight, let alone walk or talk. I mean, I still bump into things and mumble incoherently pretty much constantly. This doesn&#39;t mean I want to DATE anyone at RED (you&#39;d understand if you worked here), it&#39;s just how guys&#39; brains work (or not work, depending). &nbsp;This can make it hard to be &quot;friends&quot; with a cute girl. And it&#39;s not that we&#39;re checking you out or something, it&#39;s just that our brains are wired that way. Of course, it doesn&#39;t mean it&#39;s impossible to be friends, either. And really, the longer you&#39;re around someone, the easier it gets.&nbsp;Think about it. You might think a girl you know is really cute, but hang around her for awhile. Once you see her burp a few times by accident, snort when she laughs and other horribly disgusting things&nbsp;you never even realized girls did, you&#39;re going to have an easier time seeing past her cute exterior to that beautiful, gassy personality inside. &nbsp;Of course, you might think she&#39;s even more cute for showing you her dirty tissues. You, my friend, are disgusting ... and you have a problem, cause it sounds like you like her. What do you do then? &nbsp;Well, write into Dear Dee, &#39;cause I have no idea. &nbsp;But for the rest of us, go ahead and hang out with members of the opposite sex. Let people constantly ask if you&#39;re dating. Let people call you a couple. None of that matters,&nbsp;&#39;cause those people are idiots. And friends, no matter who they are, come first.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[One of the Boys]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/one_of_the_boys/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 17 Apr 2007 18:08:15 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[If you&#39;ve been reading the comments on my other entries (and really, who hasn&#39;t been), you&#39;ll see a lot of people accusing me of stereotyping, that they&#39;re nothing like the girls (usually) I talk about in my blog entries. &nbsp;Well, no crap. Here&#39;s a thought: That&#39;s cause this blog is supposed to be funny, and for some reason, pointing out how guys and girls are really similar underneath it all just doesn&#39;t get that many laughs. &nbsp;But just to show I listen, here&#39;s a blog entry for all you girls who don&#39;t have thousands of shoes, who don&#39;t expect gifts on Valentine&#39;s Day and who don&#39;t try to make yourselves out to be complicated.&nbsp;That&#39;s right, it&#39;s all about the non-girly girls today. &nbsp;For all those commenters who think I&#39;m gay, you&#39;re just gonna have to wait for YOUR entry. And I&#39;m not, but thanks for asking.&nbsp;Anyway, back to it. Speaking of stereotyping, here&#39;s one: Guys tend to be friends with girls who are more like themselves (guys) than other girls. You know, girls who like sports. Girls who don&#39;t wear makeup. Girls who play video games. Girls who can beat you up.&nbsp;Why is that? Easy ... it&#39;s all about common interests. It&#39;s a lot harder to make friends with someone that you have absolutely nothing in common with, so guys tend to gravitate to girls with football jerseys and their own x-box, at least for friendships. &nbsp;So that brings up another point: When guys are looking for girlfriends, it&#39;s usually the opposite ... they&#39;re attracted to girly-girls a lot of the time. Doesn&#39;t take a genius to figure that one out: If a guy&#39;s straight, they&#39;re not exactly looking for someone who reminds them of their guy friends.&nbsp;OK, so pretend you&#39;re a girl who&#39;s in this situation ... you&#39;re good friends with a guy who totally sees you as one of the boys, but you like him as more than a friend. What do you do? &nbsp;Well first, you apparently send me an e-mail asking about it, cause I&#39;ve gotten like a thousand. But second? I&#39;d say to just wait. &nbsp;Yeah, waiting sucks. But every guy and every girl start out pretty stupid about the opposite sex. You like someone who&#39;s nothing like you, and you probably don&#39;t even know why. Eventually that crush knocks you on your butt, so you get up and try again, probably making the same mistakes a few times before realizing, hey, maybe I should find someone who I have something in common with. &nbsp;Eventually guys will realize that the girl they&#39;ve been hanging out with for years might actually be more than a friend. And if not, plenty of other guys will. &nbsp;The only thing you shouldn&#39;t do is try to change to something you&#39;re not, cause that only works in &#39;Grease,&#39; and let&#39;s be honest, that movie sucks. So if you&#39;re not a girly-girl, be proud of that! Post on comedy blogs as if they&#39;re serious and yell at the writer! That&#39;ll work! &nbsp;Just don&#39;t worry about the guys, cause soon enough you&#39;ll have to fight &#39;em off. Just ... try not to hurt them too much, OK?]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Day in the Life]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/day_in_the_life.3/</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 16 Apr 2007 18:12:13 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Cari: Look, I got a nose ring!&nbsp;James: Oh, sweet. But ... didn&#39;t you always have a nose ring?&nbsp;Cari: ...No. Why don&#39;t you blog about THAT, jerk!&nbsp;Done.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Ewww, That's Disgusting!]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/ewww_thats_disgusting/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 10 Apr 2007 12:42:55 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[You know what&#39;s funny? Boogers. And farts. OK, gas from either end, really. Anything that smells or looks disgusting is automatically gonna make most guys laugh, even if just on the inside. And you know why?&nbsp;Well, neither do we. And we definitely don&#39;t know why girls don&#39;t think it&#39;s funny. I mean, what&#39;s not to love about a fart? It smells, it sounds freakin&#39; hilarious, and it&#39;s&nbsp;totally by accident most of the time (though on purpose can be awesome too ... I love when people use them to drive home a point). &nbsp;Girls&nbsp;-- not all girls, but a lot -- don&#39;t get the humor there. And that can create problems. &nbsp;Most of the time, guys try to keep gross humor to a minimum around girls. Say someone burps in a group of guys and girls. Now, usually guys will laugh, no matter what. It&#39;s too hard to keep it in. But if they&#39;re smart (and they&#39;re trying to impress one of the girls), they&#39;ll just crack up on the inside, not on the outside. That makes us look &quot;mature&quot; ... I think. I wouldn&#39;t know; I laugh every time.&nbsp;But sometimes those of you who are more mature than me just can&#39;t keep it in, and you get The Look from a girl you&#39;re with. What do you say? &nbsp;I say, just keep laughing. You can&#39;t not, so why fight it? Besides, even if they think it&#39;s gross, girls always say they like a guy with a sense of humor, right? Maybe wait to bring that up until the smell goes away, but it&#39;s still a valid point.&nbsp;Here&#39;s the important part, though: NEVER do something gross yourself. &nbsp;Girls will forgive you for laughing at something ... they might even laugh themselves. But as soon as you break wind in front of a girl, it&#39;s all over. You can&#39;t go back, and she&#39;ll never look at you the same way again. Same&#39;s true of girls farting or burping in front of guys: They can&#39;t go back either, but we respect &#39;em for making us laugh, so it&#39;s OK.&nbsp;I&#39;m lucky at RED ... three of the girls here&nbsp;have fart boxes, and think the more gross something is, the funnier it is. Not that they really understand what gross is. Until you&#39;ve been in a full men&#39;s room after lunch, you just won&#39;t get it. Still, I respect them for how far they will go, and they&#39;re constantly impressing me by laughing at burps and stuff.&nbsp;Now if you&#39;ll excuse me, I gotta go hide a fart box under Dear Dee&#39;s chair. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[OMG, Orlando's So HOTT!!!]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/omg_orlandos_so_hott/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 3 Apr 2007 16:39:09 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I&#39;m torn about this, because on one hand, I love that it shows how similar girls and guys are, no matter how much girls think otherwise. Girls might say that they&#39;re not just interested in looks, that they hate how guys are so obsessed with appearances and only care about how good-looking a girl is ... but wow, listen to them talking about Orlando Bloom, or Matthew McConaughey, or anyone else with 18-pack abs, and it&#39;s just as bad as guys talking about Jessica Alba. &nbsp;Or Jessica Simpson. Or Kelly Clarkson.&nbsp;Sorry, that last one might just be me, but what can I say ... Kelly&#39;s cute as hell.&nbsp;Anyway, it kinda makes me proud of my girl friends, that they can go off on guys for being obsessed with looks, and then turn around and do the exact same thing about what&#39;s-his-name from &#39;The Hills.&#39; You gotta love it. &nbsp;But here&#39;s the weird thing. Girls don&#39;t act like it&#39;s anything bad. &nbsp;No matter how much crap they give us for not looking beyond a girl&#39;s face or body, THEY seem to think it&#39;s fine for them to talk about some hot celeb for hours, or to put up shirtless posters on their walls, or to go on and on about some guy&#39;s butt. But if we did that? Wow, just duck, &#39;cause first we&#39;d get The Look, then maybe The Slap, followed by The Kick if we&#39;re not lucky today. &nbsp;Don&#39;t get me wrong ... I don&#39;t care that they&#39;re saying it. I just care that they&#39;d yell at ME for saying the same thing. Total double standard. Well, and no one should have to listen to how hot Matthew McConaughey when the guy doesn&#39;t wear deodorant. NO ONE.&nbsp;So if this comes up with your girl friends, guys, do what I do ... join the club. If they talk about Orlando&#39;s butt, you talk about Jessica Biel&#39;s. If they think Justin Timberlake&#39;s ripped, let loose about the muscles on Shakira. If they like McConaughey&#39;s abs, you point out that you could wash your laundry on Fergie&#39;s ... or, you know, something that actually makes sense. Sorry, I can&#39;t do everything for you. &nbsp;That&#39;s right, guys. We&#39;ve been shallow and obnoxious our whole lives, but for their sakes, we have&nbsp;learned to control it. If your girl friends feel the need to push the issue, though, give &#39;em a taste of their own creepy obsession with Johnny Depp. &#39;Cause seriously ... since when did not showering get to be hot?]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Keep It Simple]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/keep_it_simple/</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 2 Apr 2007 09:56:28 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[The comments over my April&#39;s Fools entry kinda cracked me up. The joke (and it was a pretty pathetic one) was that I finally understood girls. Funny? Nah, but what can you do. But then&nbsp;a few of the comments were about how girls were too complex for guys to understand. And that IS kinda funny. Cause you&#39;re right, I&#39;ll never understand why girls would&nbsp;say that. &nbsp;Why do girls think that putting up some air of mystery is a good thing? &quot;You can&#39;t understand us, we&#39;re too complex.&quot; You know what most guys think of that? Nothing. We don&#39;t even waste the time, cause all that says to us is, &quot;I&#39;m pretending to be better than you so you&#39;ll like me.&quot; And that means a)&nbsp;we know you&#39;re full of crap, and 2) who wants to bother with someone who&#39;s fake in the first place?&nbsp; &nbsp;Why would you WANT to be more complex than guys? Is there some kinda competition here that you didn&#39;t tell us about? And what do you get if you win&nbsp;... guys avoiding you? Congrats : ) &nbsp;So you&#39;re right, I&#39;ll never understand why girls would want to be more complex. You&#39;d think relationships and friendships were hard enough already without TRYING to be complicated. &nbsp;I know you commenters were just kidding, since if you&#39;re reading my blog, you obviously rock. But for the rest of you, it&#39;s something to think about. Who do you like to be around more, the people who think they&#39;re better than you, or the people who make jokes about themselves? ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[I Finally Understand Girls]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/i_finally_understand_girls/</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 1 Apr 2007 11:54:41 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I was thinking about it last night around midnight, and just like that, it hit me ... I totally get girls now. &nbsp;The shoe thing? Totally makes sense (and wow, did you guys not agree with me about THAT one). &nbsp;Makeup? Yeah,&nbsp;spending an hour in the morning to look good ... well, why not? &nbsp;Oh, and dressing up to impress other girls since guys don&#39;t even notice in the first place? Well, that&#39;s just how you roll. &nbsp;It&#39;s all so clear now! If just for one day, I completely understand how girls think. &nbsp;Seriously, I feel like such a fool or something ...]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Let's Go Get Some Shoes]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/lets_go_get_some_shoes/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 27 Mar 2007 17:20:36 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[OK, I&#39;ve put this off long enough. I&#39;ve tried to avoid it, but I&#39;ve gotten enough of them kicked at me, launched at my face, or just smashed into my foot that I can&#39;t keep skipping over it.Shoes. Ugh, I just got a little queasy. It&#39;s just such a dangerous topic, and one that I&#39;m honestly a little scared to even get into. Cause girls take shoes SERIOUSLY. Like, NCAA bracket seriously. And me just spitting out opinions left and right can get one of those shoes thrown at my head. But when has that stopped me before? Before going into &quot;What Every Guy Needs to Know About Shoes to Fake Interest,&quot; let me take a guess at why girls dig shoes so much in the first place. My theory is that they see their feet as kinda a blank canvas. The rest of their body, they have to buy clothes that fit, or that hide one thing or accent another or whatever ... no idea there, either. But shoes ... it&#39;s wide open. Crazy shoes, classy shoes, sparkly shoes, comfortable shoes ... whatever they want, they have options. I&#39;m trying to think of an analogy for guys, and it&#39;s hard. The best I can think of is a DVD or CD collection ... you want to have a lot of options, because you never know what kind of mood you&#39;ll be in. For guys, we see shoes as something that keep rocks off our feet, so typically we might have three or four pairs, and they all have a point: every day shoes, running shoes, and nice shoes to wear when we dress up. But if we just had three or four DVDs or CDs, we&#39;d get bored real quick. That&#39;s my guess and I&#39;m sticking with it. &nbsp;[Jen just yelled at me and said this: &quot;You&#39;re so stupid. That&#39;s not the reason at all. Girls like to accessorize, cause one thing can change the look of the whole outfit. Shoes are just a big part of that. Go back to losing at Mario Kart.&quot;&nbsp; Whatever, Jen sucks, and it&#39;s my blog.]&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;But now to the important part: What Every Guy Needs to Know About Shoes to Fake Interest. In other words, the bare minimum of info you&#39;re gonna need to look like you know what you&#39;re talking about. That said, let&#39;s look at the kinds of shoes:Pumps: These are high heels. If you don&#39;t know what high heels are, I can&#39;t help you. Why are they called pumps instead of high heels? Ha, like anyone knows! Wedges: Just like high heels, but instead of a long, thin spiky-heel, it&#39;s all filled in underneath the shoe. Like a wedge. ONE of the names had to make sense, it was just odds.Clogs: Wooden shoes or sandals. You&#39;ll hear &#39;em coming. Mules: Not named after the animal. That&#39;s an important point, cause girls don&#39;t think that&#39;s funny. These are shoes without any back on them, and the front is closed. Meaning you can&#39;t see the toe. BUT mules can be any height. Just like real mules. Again, we don&#39;t make that joke. Seriously. Flats: Shoes that are flat on the ground. OK, two of the names make sense. Bet that&#39;s it, though. Platforms: OK, THREE. Platforms are like wedges for the front of the shoe ... instead of just the heel being high, the whole shoe is. Slingbacks: Instead of a full back to the shoe, there&#39;s a strap. No idea why. Thongs: Like flip-flops, only with a heel, and probably a lot more expensive. That should be enough to get you through a conversation about shoes, at least as much as you&#39;d want to discuss anyway. After that, you&#39;re on your own, cause my brain just melted doing that much. As Jen put it the other day, &quot;Do you OWN more than one pair of shoes?&quot; And I was proud to answer, &quot;Not as far as you know!&quot;]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Any Questions? (Part II)]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/any_questions_part_ii.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 20 Mar 2007 16:06:04 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I&#39;m trying to write up a guide to girls&#39; shoes for guys, but considering it&#39;s taking me weeks to just make a list of them all, that&#39;s gonna have to wait for a bit. In the meantime, here are some questions that&#39;ll hopefully give girls some insight into guys, and guys ... well, we&#39;re never going to understand girls, but who knows. &nbsp;Q: I have a friend who likes me, but I don&#39;t like him. He wants to ask me out, and I just wanted to know if he will take it personally if I say no. Will he still be friends with me??&nbsp;As much as I&#39;d like to say yes, at BEST things are gonna get really awkward for awhile. Based on what I know about guys, a lot of them will be friends with a girl BECAUSE they like her. &nbsp;Now, that&#39;s not all guys, or maybe even most, but it is a lot of them. It&#39;s hard to ask girls out, so being friends with someone first is a good way to be around them without actually taking the chance on being rejected. And crushes can happen just from being around a guy or girl a lot, too. &nbsp;When a guy does get a crush on a girl (and probably the same when a girl crushes on a guy), that can easily become more important than the friendship. It&#39;s just usually a stronger feeling ... or at least, it feels like it. So to cut off the crush, you might be cutting off more. It&#39;s just something you should be aware of. &nbsp;Q: Is it weird when a girl&#39;s friend asks a guy out for her?&nbsp;Uh, yeah. And while most guys I know couldn&#39;t care less if a girl asks you out herself (it&#39;s nice to not have to do the work ... we&#39;re all about the laziness), it&#39;s something else for a friend of the girl to do it. That just tells us that a) you&#39;re not that confident in yourself, and 2) what would the date be like if you can&#39;t even talk to us now?&nbsp;You&#39;re better off sucking it up and doing it yourself than pushing a friend into it. It&#39;s just starting things off wrong.&nbsp;Q: If a girl wants to ask me a question, they come in like a group or pack. Why can&#39;t just the girl with the question come alone without her pack-mates?&nbsp;This goes along with the last question. Yeah, OK, there&#39;s safety in numbers, but girls should think of this from the guy&#39;s perspective. How would you like to talk to someone with 50 of their closest friends around? Ditch the friends, and talk to him on your own, girls.&nbsp;To answer the question, though, it&#39;s all about confidence. The girls feel safer with their friends around, even if it&#39;s just some random question. Yeah, they&#39;d probably talk to you without them, but by this point, maybe&nbsp;they&#39;re used to doing everything together. &nbsp;Hitting the restroom is the perfect example. The only thing I can think is that they go in groups because they&#39;re scared of something in there ... like the couch will be too nice.&nbsp;I can&#39;t even imagine. Seriously? Anytime you need a group of people to go to the bathroom, something&#39;s wrong with that bathroom. &nbsp;By the way, as someone rightly pointed out in the comments, we&#39;re not talking about just walking around in large groups. That&#39;s totally a social thing. This is only about the large groups to talk to a guy, like in the question,&nbsp;or to face the bathroom horrors (I don&#39;t even want to think about what&#39;s in the vending machines in the girls&#39; bathroom ... yikes. I&#39;d need at least five guys with me to face that.)&nbsp;Q: How do you tell a guy that you just want to be friends, in the nicest way possible, but actually meaning it?&nbsp;Ha, good luck with that! There&#39;s no nice way. Either you&#39;re considerate of the guy&#39;s feelings, which means he still thinks you&#39;re interested, or you pull out his heart and throw it to the floor ... &nbsp;but he gets the point. Harsh? Sure, but it&#39;s hard to get a point across to guys sometimes. &nbsp;Q: How do I dress appropriately to&nbsp;let&nbsp;my guy friends get the right impression on how I feel about them?&nbsp;Wow, back up like 10 steps. Guys barely notice what a girl&#39;s wearing. Make the right impression by what you say and do, &#39;cause there&#39;s no way fashion&#39;s gonna get the point across.&nbsp;Q: Did YOU steal Jen&#39;s belt?&nbsp;Like I even noticed she was wearing a belt. With Jen, I&#39;m always watching her hands, &#39;cause otherwise I get hit in the throat. We&#39;ll be playing Mario Kart, and out of nowhere, I&#39;ll get knocked out of my chair by a karate chop to my neck. Jen&#39;s scary!&nbsp;Q: How come you act like this big macho guy on your blog, but then you have the girliest songs ever on your iPod? Oh yeah? So&#39;s your face! -- Kori &nbsp;...Wow, someone&#39;s not getting rides ever again. And whatever, my taste in music is probably the worst of anyone I know, but I don&#39;t care ... at least I don&#39;t have a life-sized Orlando Bloom stand-up by my desk. That&#39;s it, Kori, you&#39;re done! Take a lap! ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[One of the Girls]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/one_of_the_girls/</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 19 Mar 2007 08:31:24 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I&#39;m starting to realize just how subtle the girls I work with can be. Half the time, I don&#39;t even realize what they&#39;re doing to me until I&#39;m already in way too deep. I woke up to it, though, after this happened the other day.&nbsp;&quot;Can I put makeup on you?&quot; Jen asked me.&nbsp;&quot;Sure,&quot; I said, without even looking up.&nbsp;And that&#39;s how they get you.&nbsp;The thing is, I can&#39;t pay attention 24/7. But they can ... and they DO. Multitasking between humiliating me and doing their work is EASY for them. &nbsp;Let&#39;s be honest, I&#39;m not the smartest guy: Sometimes in the morning, I can barely talk. OK, that&#39;s every morning, but still. And I do stupid things all the time ... I&#39;m not going to talk about how many things have almost been broken by balls being thrown around RED. I&#39;m also not going to mention how I broke Kori&#39;s Orlando Bloom cardboard stand-up after a freak chair-racing accident (which we caught on video). &nbsp;So I&#39;m not exactly the posterboy for brains. And the girls know that. They know that all they have to do is wait, and they&#39;ll get me.&nbsp;Get me how, you wanna know? They want me to be one of the girls.&nbsp;&quot;James, come make our Prom on a Budget video this weekend with us!&quot; they say.&nbsp;&quot;Sure, why not?&quot; I tell them. Wait, what? Since when would I ever volunteer to do more work, especially when it&#39;s shopping for dresses?!&nbsp;&quot;James, help me write something?&quot; That sounds safe enough ... until I realize it&#39;s a photo gallery from a red carpet, and we&#39;re critiquing fashions. &nbsp;&quot;LADIES, come here!&quot; our boss will yell. And I&#39;ll be halfway there before I realize what she said. &nbsp;Guys, they know our weaknesses ... we don&#39;t listen, and we&#39;re not paying attention. And they know they can use that! Do you WANT to end up with lipstick and eyeliner on your face all day? Well, some guys might, but not me so much. And you probably don&#39;t WANT to be singing &#39;Bop to the Top&#39; from &#39;High School Musical&#39; to yourself while you&#39;re driving, but when you hear it all the time, it just drills itself into your head!&nbsp;I don&#39;t know the answer here, guys. Maybe I need to tune them all out. Maybe I need to pull some guys in. Maybe ... well, there&#39;s no way I&#39;m going to pay more attention, so forget that. But I can&#39;t keep this up forever. They&#39;ve already got me not wearing some of my favorite clothes because, and this is a direct quote, &quot;You look like an ewok.&quot;&nbsp;If anyone&#39;s got a suggestion out there, let me know. &#39;Cause it&#39;s almost too late ... and I really don&#39;t want to know if I&#39;m an autumn or a spring.&nbsp;]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Taking One for the Team]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/taking_one_for_the_team.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 13 Mar 2007 12:05:09 PDT</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[When you&#39;re the only guy in a situation, it&#39;s really fun when the girls decide that you represent all guys, meaning you should have to answer for all men everywhere. And by fun, I mean, fun for them. &#39;Cause you might as well just start running now ... they&#39;ll hunt you down, but you&#39;ll buy yourself some time.If a girl here has a problem with a guy, she expects me to explain why he&#39;s acting that way. If one of them doesn&#39;t understand why some guy isn&#39;t returning her calls, or won&#39;t stop calling, or calls, but not enough ... same deal. The real fun comes when they just blame our whole gender, and take it out on me &#39;cause I&#39;m here, and the guy who they&#39;re mad at isn&#39;t.(By the way, to all the guys I&#39;ve taken the punishment for ... karma&#39;s real, and it hurts.)Most of the time, though, the girls just want an explanation, a look into my head to see why any guy could possibly be treating them so badly. And bringing up that a.) I&#39;m not that guy and 2.) I didn&#39;t TELL you I&#39;d stop by last night, so I have no idea why he didn&#39;t, doesn&#39;t really help. So what does help? Well, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and put yourself in the shoes of the guy your friend is mad at. And when you do, most likely, you&#39;re not going to like what you see. After all, let&#39;s face it ... guys tend to focus on their own deal, and that can mean that we completely forget that someone might be waiting for something, or expecting something, or just not wanting to be completely ignored. It&#39;s not selfish (read this if you haven&#39;t), but it definitely comes across that way. But that&#39;s not what these girls are looking for. They&#39;re not looking for reasons, really ... if they were, they&#39;d be going to the guy and kicking him until he admitted to going out with his friends instead of her. No, I think they&#39;re looking for some kind of reassurance that it&#39;s not in any way their fault. That they didn&#39;t do anything to deserve this. And they didn&#39;t. They&#39;re my friends, and they deserve the best in life, if only &#39;cause they have to put up with ME five days a week.Which brings us to the cliched answer. Every girl in the world already knows it, but it&#39;s about time you learned it too, guys. &#39;Cause it&#39;s about taking one for the team, and making a friend feel better. And deep down, I think we all know that most guys just don&#39;t really pay much attention.So say it with me one time. &quot;Guys suck.&quot; See? It&#39;s not that hard ... and it&#39;s not like you&#39;re saying YOU suck. But in general, guys can be crappy to girls, and pointing that out is worth it if it helps a friend. Now, don&#39;t get me wrong ... your friends better be ready to step up with the &quot;girls suck&quot; line too, cause the same&#39;s true in most cases. Just like guys mistreat girls a lot, girls do the exact same thing in their own way to guys. But whether you&#39;re a guy or a girl, sometimes it&#39;s just about letting the team take one for you. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Any Questions?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/any_questions.3/</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 9 Mar 2007 12:58:12 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I&#39;ve been getting a ton of questions from girls (and a few guys)&nbsp;that I shouldn&#39;t be answering, so I&#39;m gonna answer &#39;em. Oh yeah. That&#39;s just how I roll. &nbsp;Q: Why is it that if one of my guy friends gets a girlfriend it&#39;s as if I don&#39;t exist anymore?&nbsp;I&#39;m assuming this is from a girl, since I don&#39;t usually call my male friends guy friends. But it&#39;s a good question. It goes back to the focus thing. When a guy starts getting interested in a girl, he&#39;s probably going to be focusing less on both guy and girlfriends. Let&#39;s just say if your prioritizing, girlfriends are always going to win. The other side of this, though, is that guys don&#39;t want to LOOK like they&#39;re doing that, at least not to their guy friends. It&#39;s a pride thing to a lot of guys, they don&#39;t want to look like they&#39;re whipped. So guy friends will still get time, but girl friends probably won&#39;t.&nbsp;That&#39;s just a guess. It&#39;s gonna depend on the guy, though. &nbsp;Q:&nbsp;I was kinda wondering from a guys perspective, what does a guy likes in a girl?&nbsp;I could answer this, but it&#39;s not going to really help ... every guy thinks differently. Seriously, some are only interested in looks, just like some girls are, and some want to find a girl with a sense of humor, just like some girls do. For most guys, it&#39;s probably a mix of finding someone they think is cute, has some of the same interests, and laughs at their jokes. OH, and&nbsp;it always&nbsp;helps if the girl plays video games. Just saying.&nbsp;Q: I&#39;ve got two older brothers (13 and 16) and I asked them what guys think about all day long. Both of them said (and in this order) girls, food, and sports. Is that really all teenage guys think about? Are guys really that simple-minded?&nbsp;That is just&nbsp;pathetic.&nbsp;&nbsp;OK, that&#39;s not all guys think about ... wait, I meant that&#39;s more than most guys think about. Usually it&#39;s either sports OR food, not both. &nbsp;Q: Why should anyone listen to you when you&#39;re such a jerk? I cannot believe you shared with everyone that I lost my belt one morning. I was having a horrible day, and not considering my feelings makes me want to chop you in the jugular, then kick you in the face. We&#39;re SO over. --&nbsp;Jen&nbsp;Oh, Jen, it was so worth it. That story still makes me happy, just thinking about it. And you do those things to me anyway at least once a day. As for your question, really, you&#39;ve got a good point. No one should listen to me. NO ONE. Thanks for the question, Jen!&nbsp;&nbsp;Q: Do guys talk about girls as much as girls talk about guys (constantly)?!&nbsp;Guys don&#39;t talk as much as girls period, I don&#39;t think. We do think about girls as much as girls think about guys, sure, but talk? ... Why would we do that? &nbsp;Q: What type of guys category do you fall in (punk skater Goth prep jock nerd etc.)?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?&nbsp;I asked around, and no one can figure out one category that fits. Either I&#39;m just so strange that none of them work, or I completely defy labels. I&#39;m gonna go with door number two here. &nbsp;Q: Why are girls so moody? How can I tell when my girlfriend is in a good mood? I mean, she&#39;ll be fine one minute and then the next she is sad or mad about something?&nbsp;Moody? I&#39;d say she&#39;s probably dealing with something that you&#39;re not aware of. Ask her about it. Then when she says she&#39;s not upset about anything, and here&#39;s the key ... WAIT. Don&#39;t push it. A little later, maybe ask if everything&#39;s ok. Then wait again. Gradually, she&#39;ll either tell you, or move on.&nbsp;And yeah, girls change moods faster than guys do. We&#39;re more gradual, usually ... it takes something big to switch us. Girls tend to think details are more important than we do, so something that we might not even notice might be a big deal to them. &nbsp;You gotta remember that it&#39;s not like girls are changing moods randomly. There&#39;s a reason for everything they do, same as us. All you need to do to understand them is ask. &nbsp;And when that doesn&#39;t work, just guess. Guessing is big. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Sorry to Say This ...]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/sorry_to_say_this_/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 6 Mar 2007 10:52:32 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[No matter what you do, guys, you can&#39;t avoid this situation. A girl will be mad at you for something you did, and nine times out of ten, you&#39;ll have no idea what that thing was. I&#39;m not going to go into the reasons for that again (read the blog post about Are Guys Stupid? to figure that one out), but they wouldn&#39;t help here anyway. &nbsp;Because there&#39;s no real way to defend yourself against, &quot;If you don&#39;t know what you did, I&#39;m not going to tell you!&quot; It&#39;s like trying to wrap your head around infinity in math. Einstein couldn&#39;t do it, and we&#39;re no Einstein. And you know that&#39;s why his hair was like that, from trying to figure out why he upset Mrs. Einstein. &nbsp;Oh yeah, that was her name. Look it up. &nbsp;Assuming there&#39;s no way for you to actually figure out what you did wrong (and that&#39;s a pretty safe assumption most of the time, since you don&#39;t know and she won&#39;t tell you), all that&#39;s left is your apology. &nbsp;Now, as guys, we&#39;re not huge on apologizing for things we KNOW we did, let alone for things we didn&#39;t do, or did do but it was late, or didn&#39;t not do, or that we forgot to not mention, or whatever. But it&#39;s your choice: Apologize, and wait for things to pass -- or don&#39;t, and get the emotional equivalent of being punched in the head over and over for however long it takes for her to forgive you.&nbsp;Don&#39;t get me wrong, sometimes you gotta go with option two. But mostly, option one saves you time and pain. Ultimately, it&#39;s just easier, pride or not.&nbsp;So how do you apologize when you&#39;re not sure what you&#39;re apologizing for? The same way you apologize when you DO know what you did: sincerely ...&nbsp;and vaguely. &nbsp;Say you accidentally told someone one of her secrets. Here&#39;s what you say:&nbsp;&quot;Oh, wow, I&#39;m so sorry I hurt you. It was completely insensitive of me, I just wasn&#39;t thinking, and that was so wrong of me. Believe me, whatever you want me to do to make up for it, I will.&quot;&nbsp;Say you don&#39;t know that you gave up her secret, &#39;cause she never told you it WAS a secret. Here&#39;s what you say:&nbsp;&quot;Oh, wow, I&#39;m so sorry I hurt you. It was completely insensitive of me, I just wasn&#39;t thinking, and that was so wrong of me. Believe me, whatever you want me to do to make up for it, I will.&quot;&nbsp;Sound familiar? Whether you know or not, DO NOT remind her of whatever you did wrong! Keep any specifics out of it. If she pushes the issue about what you did, you&#39;re dead ... next time, work on your sincerity. &nbsp;&#39;Cause sincerity&#39;s what it&#39;s all bout, whether you mean it or not. And believe me, I&#39;m sorry to be the one to tell you this. &nbsp;]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[The Fat Question]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/the_fat_question/</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 2 Mar 2007 08:44:31 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[&nbsp; &quot;Do these jeans make me look fat?&quot; It&#39;s one of those questions like &quot;What&#39;s the sound of one hand clapping?&quot; ... there&#39;s no real answer. Once you realize that, you&#39;re on the right track to answering it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Really, if you get asked the fat question, you&#39;ve got a couple of options. Let&#39;s go through the wrong answers first, OK?&nbsp;&nbsp;Wrong Answer #1: &quot;Let me see.&quot; It doesn&#39;t matter what you say after this, you&#39;re already dead. That&#39;s because you&#39;re implying that they possibly COULD be making her look fat! No, if the possibility is there, you&#39;re basically telling her that not only do they make her look fat, the ground shakes when she walks.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Wrong Answer #2: &quot;They&#39;re a little tight.&quot; You might think that honesty is what girls want, considering how often they tell us they want us to be honest. But here&#39;s the thing: she&#39;s not asking you for your opinion ... she already knows if they&#39;re too tight or don&#39;t fit. She just wants you to tell her she looks good. And that leads us to the third wrong answer.&nbsp;&nbsp;Wrong Answer #3: &quot;You look good!&quot; See, this is where they&#39;ll get you every time. If she&#39;s already decided that the clothing doesn&#39;t fit, then she&#39;ll know you&#39;re lying. And it doesn&#39;t matter that you&#39;re complimenting them, because now they know you&#39;re not sincere about it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;So we&#39;ve talked about the wrong answers, but are there any right answers?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;No. At least not directly. &nbsp;Here&#39;s how you do it:&nbsp;&nbsp;Girl: Do these jeans make me look fat?&nbsp;&nbsp;Guy: You know what they&#39;d look good with? That pink shirt of yours.&nbsp;&nbsp;Girl: Are you kidding? That&#39;d look horrible! You&#39;ve got no fashion sense, you know.&nbsp;&nbsp;Guy: Ha, I know, I&#39;m useless. Let&#39;s go get something to eat.&nbsp;&nbsp;See what happened there? All you gotta do is show that you&#39;re not even worth asking! Not only does it help you get out of the question at this point, it&#39;ll hopefully head off any further questions. It&#39;s all about the deflecting, then changing the subject. Want another option?&nbsp;&nbsp;Girl: Do these jeans make me look fat?&nbsp;&nbsp;Guy: You know, mine feel a little tight, what do you think?&nbsp;&nbsp;Girl: Yours are huge, idiot.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Guy: Ha, I know, I&#39;m useless. Let&#39;s go get something to eat.&nbsp;&nbsp;It&#39;s so easy once you know the rules, guys. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Are Guys Stupid?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/are_guys_stupid/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 27 Feb 2007 15:50:58 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[There seems to be a question coming up in various comments over the last few entries, from both guys and girls: Guys can&#39;t really be this stupid, can they?&nbsp;&nbsp; Considering that&#39;s a question we get a lot at Truth or Crap too, it sounds like now might be the time to stand up and answer the age-old question once and for all.&nbsp;&nbsp; Are guys stupid?&nbsp;&nbsp; Nope. We just act that way. &nbsp;&nbsp; Now, there are plenty of guys who are self-aware and actually use their heads to do more than bounce basketballs off as many times as they can in a minute. But those guys shouldn&#39;t be reading this blog, they should be writing it for me. &nbsp;&nbsp; The rest of us guys aren&#39;t really that stupid, it&#39;s just two things: a) we don&#39;t pay attention, and b) we don&#39;t really care. Ignorance and apathy ... it&#39;s&nbsp;a tough combination. Let me explain them both.&nbsp;&nbsp; First of all, guys&#39; brains work on one thing at a time. I know girls can watch tv and read magazines and talk on the phone while doing their homework, but guys are paying full, and I mean FULL, attention to the TV. If a magazine got in our way, we&#39;d move our head just enough to see past it. And by magazine, I also mean pet, person, earthquake, whatever. That&#39;s just how we&#39;re made, we concentrate on one thing at a time. &nbsp;&nbsp; What does that mean for girls, and most of life in general? If there&#39;s something on our minds, whether it&#39;s school, work, sports, TV (that one keeps coming up) or even that we&#39;re concentrating on walking, we&#39;re not paying attention to anything else. That means girls, other guys, heavy traffic, anything. &nbsp;&nbsp; It makes us look stupid, when in fact, we&#39;re just really focused. This is also why you can tell a guy a problem, and he won&#39;t just listen, he&#39;ll try to fix it for you. If we didn&#39;t, we&#39;d be stuck on your problem for the rest of our lives, not able to move on because we weren&#39;t done with it. &nbsp;&nbsp; Now, us not caring?&nbsp;&nbsp; That might sound harsh, but think of it as us having different priorities. If you could only concentrate on one thing at a time, girls, YOU would pick and choose pretty carefully too. Say we focus all our attention on those new shoes you got. Suddenly, we&#39;re tripping over ourselves and walking into walls. It&#39;s not pretty, so by necessity, we can only care about really important things, things worth knocking ourselves around for. Like video games. &nbsp;&nbsp; Different priorities.&nbsp;&nbsp; So next time you think a guy does something stupid, ask yourself ... did he just not pay attention, or care enough to think about it? You&#39;ll be surprised how often the answer is yes.&nbsp;Makes you proud to be a male, doesn&#39;t it, guys?]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[How Do You FEEL, Though?]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/how_do_you_feel_though/</link>
			<pubDate>Mon, 26 Feb 2007 09:43:19 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[You know, when someone asks a guy how they feel, the typical answer goes something like this:&nbsp; &quot;Um, fine, why, do I look sick?&quot; Alternatively, depending on what just happened, we might say something like, &quot;My shoulder kinda hurts where I ran into that wall, but otherwise, I&#39;m good to go.&quot;&nbsp;&nbsp;Listening to girls talk to each other, though, I think they mean something different by the question &quot;How are you feeling?&quot; Look, we all know the cliche that guys don&#39;t share their feelings and that girls talk about them all the time. But girls talking about their feelings is sorta like asking someone if it&#39;s raining outside; They&#39;re talking about feeling angry, or hurt, or happy, or excited,&nbsp;whatever they&#39;re feeling at that exact moment.&nbsp;&nbsp;Maybe that&#39;s what feelings are to girls, but to guys, I think it&#39;s more personal. Like, we really and truly love burritos, for example. And that&#39;s really important to us ... we wouldn&#39;t just go around telling anyone. But say we&#39;re in a bad mood, and someone asks about it. Guys feel like talking about their bad mood would just be bringing someone else down, so instead, we just get cranky and treat everyone badly, happy in the knowledge that we selflessly didn&#39;t share the reason.&nbsp;&nbsp;Really, we&#39;re just kind that way.&nbsp;&nbsp;Girls, though, seem to actually feel BETTER after talking about how or why they&#39;re feeling something. Since the problem still exists, this is a mystery to guys, but it&#39;s one we have to get used to. Girls telling us how they feel may sound like they&#39;re asking for a way to feel better, but in reality, they&#39;re feeling better by just telling us. And they think that we&#39;re the same way, meaning&nbsp;we would want to share OUR feelings and therefore feel better.&nbsp;&nbsp;Little do they know.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Here&#39;s my advice:&nbsp;&nbsp;If a girl starts telling you about something and gets into how it makes her feel, just listen, and above all, DON&#39;T offer any suggestions unless she specifically asks. Trust me, she&#39;s not trying to fix her problem (she&#39;ll take care of that on her own), she&#39;s just sharing the pain. Sounds cruel? Well yeah, but that&#39;s girls for you.&nbsp;&nbsp;If a girl asks YOU&nbsp;how you&#39;re feeling about something, assuming you even know you ARE feeling something, just remember that they want to know, and that it makes them feel good for you to open up to them. So be a man and share those feelings. After all, girls like sensitive guys. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Birthday Surprises]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/birthday_surprises.2/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 20 Feb 2007 13:30:01 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[For some reason, we had two birthdays in a row, right around Valentine&#39;s Day. You know how hard it is to buy a gift for a girlfriend? It&#39;s about a thousand times worse trying to find a gift that says &quot;Hey, you&#39;re a great friend, but this means nothing more. No, seriously, that&#39;s it.&quot;&nbsp; It&#39;s a fine line that you have to walk here, guys. If you&#39;re buying a gift in the first place, you&#39;re putting a certain level of affection out there. Even if it&#39;s something completely unromantic, like, I don&#39;t know, the CD by a band she just started listening to a&nbsp; few weeks ago...but the band&#39;s from Germany so she hasn&#39;t been able to track them down...&nbsp;only you put in the effort and found one only three hours away...so you drove and bought it. &nbsp;&nbsp; I mean, how could someone possibly misinterpret that?&nbsp;&nbsp; Here&#39;s the thing, guys: I know that the female mind is a strange, wonderful, but mostly strange place to us, but if you&#39;re friends with a girl, it doesn&#39;t matter if the gift is too personal. They&#39;re your friend, and you owe it to them to treat them like you would a guy friend: sometimes that means giving them a crap gift that they&#39;ll laugh at. And sometimes it means giving them something that an outsider might interpret as romantic, but the two of you know is just a gesture of friendship.&nbsp;&nbsp; For instance, we have a girl here who&nbsp;likes rabbits. (She calls them bunnies. I, well, won&#39;t.) So we picked out four stuffed animal rabbits for her, and arranged them around her desk. Aww, how cute, right? Well, yes, but it&#39;s also a nice gesture of friendship for an old friend. From a boyfriend, it might have been romantic. From me to her? Not at all. Or, as she put it, UGH, that&#39;s sick. &nbsp;I guess the lesson to be learned is that sometimes it&#39;s not really about how we might come across ... let someone else walk the fine line, you jump right over it and do something nice for your friend. &nbsp;Stupid birthdays always make me sentimental!]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Style (or Lack Thereof)]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/style_or_lack_thereof/</link>
			<pubDate>Thu, 15 Feb 2007 11:45:55 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[One of the girls came in the other day, stopped short, and looked down at herself. I asked her what was wrong.&nbsp;&nbsp;&quot;I think I lost my belt,&quot; she told me, frowning.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#39;m gonna let that sink in for a second. She lost her belt. You know, the item of clothing that exists to hold your pants up &hellip; just disappeared at some point off her body. And she never noticed.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Let&#39;s talk about fashion, yeah?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#39;m going to generalize here, but for most guys, style describes that T-shirt they really like that only has holes under the armpits. And fashion &hellip; well, that&#39;s a Victoria&#39;s Secret show. I&#39;m told that neither of these things are actually correct, so I&#39;ll pass along to you all what I&#39;ve found out.&nbsp;&nbsp;As much as guys like to think girls like manly, rugged men, it turns out that dressing like a slob is actually a turnoff for them. Now, no one -- girl or guy -- wants to look like they&#39;re vain and spent three hours getting ready before going out, but the difference between guys and girls is that girls put in the time; they just don&#39;t want you to know it. Guys typically can&#39;t be bothered, and it hurts us in the long run.&nbsp;&nbsp;Style doesn&#39;t have to be about following trends or buying new clothes. If we had to do either, it&#39;d already be a lost cause &hellip; who&#39;s got the time or motivation when your PS3 is giving you that sad look that lets you know you&#39;re neglecting it? No, the secret to fashion and style for guys is just this: There&#39;s a classic look that we can tap into, and then never worry about it again. And that sounds like just about as much work as we want to put into it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Style for guys hasn&#39;t changed much over the years. Flip past E! sometime and you&#39;ll see one of the 40,000 red carpet reviews. Notice how 90 percent&nbsp;of the guys are wearing suits? Sure, some are more colorful than others, but the traditional is still the fallback. And fallback is what we&#39;re all about. Not that I&#39;m recommending wearing suits, I&#39;m just proving the point that things don&#39;t really change in male fashion.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;What should you wear? I&#39;m the wrong person to ask, obviously, since I just put on what I think looks good for whatever I&#39;m doing. But here are some simple rules I&#39;ve been beat over the head with by the girls here that might help you out:&nbsp;&nbsp;-- Wear clothes that fit. You might think you look good wearing jeans five sizes too big, but the ladies are all laughing at you. If you&#39;re trying to impress the guys, though, go for it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;-- Vintage clothes are fine. Dirty, worn-out, falling apart clothes just make you look like you don&#39;t know how to shower. Girls may think dirty boys are cute from a distance, but you won&#39;t get close enough to them to find out for sure. Speaking of that, showering? Always in style. Just like deodorant.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;-- It&#39;s&nbsp;OK to drop some money on clothes. There&#39;s not much I hate worse than shopping for clothes and trying crap on, so if I&#39;m going to buy something, it better be built to last, and look good for the effort. That usually means dropping a little more cash, but if it lasts longer, it&#39;ll save you money in the long run.&nbsp;&nbsp;-- Know what the situation calls for. Unless there&#39;s a gun to my head, I hate dressing up, but sometimes you have to take one for the team. If you go out a little more dressed up and all the other guys there are dressed down, you&#39;re going to stand out. And to girls, it&#39;ll be in a good way.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Ultimately, that&#39;s the point. Guys have to walk that fine line of not caring how they look, and looking good to girls who spend a lot more time than we do on fashion. And trust me, if you ever have any questions about what looks good, just ask -- there are girls here who&#39;d jump at the prospect of letting them make me over, just for the sheer enjoyment they&#39;d get out of it.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Just make sure to stay true to what makes sense for you, though. After all, if my belt ever disappeared, it&#39;d mean my pants had gone with it.]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[A Guy's Guide to Valentine's Day]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/a_guys_guide_to_valentines_day/</link>
			<pubDate>Sun, 11 Feb 2007 08:25:39 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Normally I focus on the every-day fun that happens here at RED: what makes the girls laugh, what makes them throw stuffed animals at my face, the typical kinda stuff. But there&#39;s a holiday coming up that I think most guys, myself included, really don&#39;t understand. &nbsp;Valentine&#39;s Day. &nbsp;&nbsp; Just reading those words pushes most guys&#39; stomachs into the floor, making them think, &quot;Oh CRAP, did I forget Valentine&#39;s Day?!&quot; And that&#39;s a good thing ... fear&#39;s a motivator. It&#39;ll get you moving, and moving&#39;s what you need to do. Because no matter what girls may tell you, Valentine&#39;s Day isn&#39;t about love, or romance, or even a date: It&#39;s about HER. &nbsp;&nbsp; Lemme put it another way: Valentine&#39;s Day should be called &quot;Girl&#39;s Day&quot; or &quot;It&#39;s-All-About-Me-Day for Women&quot; or &quot;This Was a Test, and You Failed, Guys! Day.&quot; Get the picture? YOU will not get a gift, guys. YOU will not get candy, YOU will not get to watch your favorite romantic movie (&#39;Top Gun&#39;, anyone?), and YOU will not get to pick where you eat, or have dinner made for you, or anything like that. &nbsp;&nbsp; Once you realize that there&#39;s no &quot;him&quot; in Valentine&#39;s Day, you&#39;ll be on the right track. (There&#39;s no &quot;her&quot; either, but don&#39;t distract me.) But Valentine&#39;s Day can work FOR you, not just against you. Over the years, girls have lowered their expectations about guys remembering, being around, or even just not dumping them on Feb. 14, so we can use those lowered expectations now to really score major points. You can even get in on the act with your friends, cause, again, this day isn&#39;t about relationships ... any girl wants to see that you&#39;re thinking about her.&nbsp;&nbsp; Now that you&#39;re turning V-Day to your advantage, let&#39;s look at how to make it work. Of course, the most important item on your list is to buy gifts, but there are landmines here. There are some gifts you definitely want to stay away from, no matter how much you think the girl might need or want it. Just to throw out some ideas, do NOT buy a girl: &nbsp;&nbsp; 1. A scale2. Midol3. The book &#39;He&#39;s Just Not That Into You&#39; 4. Valentines that include the word &quot;stinky&quot; 5. Dead flowers -- I don&#39;t care how cheap they were&nbsp;&nbsp; What SHOULD you buy a girl? Flowers and chocolates are traditional (and pretty much necessary, if just to meet the minimum requirement.) But I like to move beyond that and get something for her that really shows you pay attention to what she&#39;s saying ... by asking her friends what she wants. It&#39;s really a win/win situation: the girl will love the gift, and you look good to all her friends too, since they&#39;ll think you really wanted their input. &nbsp;&nbsp; For your girl friends, it&#39;s a little trickier, but no less important. You don&#39;t want to give them the wrong impression with some crazy-romantic valentine, so humor might be the answer. But let&#39;s not go overboard here guys -- some humor is good, like a monkey kissing a person; some humor is not, like anything on a toilet. Keep those rules in mind, and you&#39;ll be ok. If you&#39;re stuck, the fool-proof friend gift is those elementary school valentines that you can buy at grocery stores: Give one out to everyone, just like in first grade. You&#39;ll be covered all-around, they&#39;ll think you&#39;re cute for thinking of it, and everyone&#39;s happy.&nbsp;&nbsp; Those simple steps should get you through to Feb. 15th just fine, and then it&#39;s just a matter of waiting for her to pay you back on the one day that is all about guys, Super Bowl Sunday. Just don&#39;t expect gifts. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[I've Got a Secret!]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/ive_got_a_secret/</link>
			<pubDate>Fri, 9 Feb 2007 15:28:13 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Guys don&#39;t know much about keeping secrets (well, unless you&#39;re in the mob, but then there&#39;s motivation). You know why? Because guys don&#39;t share anything that would NEED to be kept secret. If a guy&#39;s doing something he doesn&#39;t want anyone to know, he keeps that to himself. We&#39;re just considerate that way ... after all, why burden someone else with keeping OUR secret?&nbsp;&nbsp;I&#39;m quickly learning this is not how girls work. And I say learning because I&#39;m still messing up at this. There are five girls that I work with, and all of them tell me things that I would have had to be tortured to give up about myself. And they LIKE sharing these things! Personal, work-related, national security secrets, whatever it is, there&#39;s some huge temptation to share.&nbsp;&nbsp;Oh, but as soon as one of the girls tells me something, the double-standard kicks in. You know, the don&#39;t-tell-ANYONE-what-I-just-told-you. Wait a second, didn&#39;t YOU just give it away? So you&#39;re holding me to a higher standard than you&#39;re holding yourself?&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The answer would have been yes if I&#39;d been stupid enough to ask that. Instead, I just nod and promise not to share.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;For some reason, this whole process is very satisfying to girls. But for me, the nightmare&#39;s just beginning. Suddenly, I&#39;m having to watch what I say around everyone. I&#39;ll be holding on to some secret from one girl about another, but there&#39;s a secret from the second about a third, that actually kinda insults the first girl, if she knew, but wait, a fourth girl DOES know it, but she doesn&#39;t know that I know, so I can&#39;t say anything to her, either.&nbsp;&nbsp;Guys, you&#39;re never going to escape this. We&#39;re pretty good at not saying anything remotely personal, so girls think we&#39;re like a bank of rumors and nasty insults just waiting for them to deposit whatever crazy secret they&#39;ve got ready. And you can&#39;t just forget whatever they tell you, because that same girl will come back to withdraw the secret later, asking you if you remember ... and let&#39;s just say your ATM better not be out of funds.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Their shoes have sharp sticks on the bottoms, after all.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The best way I&#39;ve found to deal with secrets are to just take them all in, remember them carefully, and then just stop speaking altogether. It&#39;s safer, it&#39;s kinda relaxing, and it makes you look like you&#39;re actually much more thoughtful and smart than you probably are. Relax, though ... that&#39;ll just be our little secret. ]]></description>
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			<title><![CDATA[Hair Dos and Don'ts]]></title>
			<link>http://red.blogs.aol.com/redoddmanout/odd_man_out/hair_dos_and_donts/</link>
			<pubDate>Tue, 6 Feb 2007 11:32:14 PST</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[There are exceptions to this, but for the mo